Truth Of Courage
by Lottie xx
Summary: Heartbroken after Dimitri left Rose feels isolated and alone she turns to her training to help her.  But when life turns upside down and Rose is imprisoned she has only one reason to live. Well that's until she realises that Dimitri's out to save her.
1. Chapter 1

Summary:

Heartbroken after Dimitri left Rose feels isolated and alone, she turns to her training to help her. But when life turns upside down and Rose is imprisoned and everything she holds near and dear has been taken away, Rose has only one reason to live. Well that's until she realises that Dimitri's out to save her, and will stop at nothing until his Roza is safe in his arms. Set after Shadow Kiss attack didn't happen and Dimitri is dhampire. (Rose isn't imprisoned for treason)

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><p>Me and Dimitri cease to exist. Yes you heard right we aren't together anymore, and to be honest it kills me, not that I would let anyone know it of course but the whole world I<p>

knew was gone, just like him. No one to control me (let's be honest no one could anyway, well except him anyway) so shouldn't I be happy? Well I keep telling myself I

should. But I'm not. My emotions are running high all I can think about is him; I haven't been sleeping... or eating and you know when you're so hungry you throw up? Well

that's me I'm puking a lot recently but I just can't face food at the moment and everything reminds me of him. I mean at the moment I'm looking down at my chocolate

glazed donut that should be my breakfast and even THAT reminds me of him, the shiny chocolate glazed coating reminds me of his attractive brown hair they way it reflects

light from the moon, or the way it's so soft to touch, the smell so delicious I just want to eat him there and then, or that it tastes so mouth-watering all I want to do is kiss

him until there's no tomorrow, but then I realise he's gone... an then I puke again, and again, and again until every thought of him in mind and stomach is gone, and that's

how it's been for the last month and a half. Now you may ask gone where? Well to Russia to be transferred closer to home, well that's the excuse he used but I think what

happened in the cabin scared him for days after he avoided me, cancelled practise and avoided contact with me and at the time I thought that was the worst he could do-To

make me feel that lonely when he was in the same room as me. But I was wrong this is. Knowing he's out there with half my heart and never coming back, this is the worst

he could do, I feel so incomplete, lonely, and heartbroken even with the support of my friends (although they don't know why I'm upset, or in fact that I am upset, but being

normal is just what I need right now) and although deep down I know I feel these things I really try not to let it get to me.

And so I try and move on with my life, but that's easier said than done, and anyone who ever tells you otherwise is wrong. Hathaway's always right. But that doesn't mean I

don't try, so this is where I find myself sitting in old St. Valdimirs Academy cafeteria putting on a brave face for my friends, and a Rose bravado for anyone who tries to mess

with me, because although my hearts breaking doesn't mean my reputation has to. "Earth to Rose, anyone home?" Lissa asked giving me an anxious look, pulling me out of

my train of thoughts, now I know I may be fooling almost everyone with my 'Rose act' but one person who knows me inside out, and when something's up, its Lissa, but hey

they don't call us best friends for nothing. "Err... yeah sorry Lissa just zoned out a bit there, you were saying?" Lissa just looked at me with that –don't mess with me look- a

nd said _"I know something's up recently and I've tried to give you space, but we are going to be talking later" _she said through the bond, which I was quite thankful for

because although Lissa might be seeing through my act Eddie, Christian and Adrian seemed oblivious to my mood swings and so mentioning at the breakfast table would have

defiantly given them something to worry about. So instead of answering Lissa with words and alerting everyone to the fact we were having a silent conversation I gave my

head a small nod to let Lissa know I got the message loud and clear. But right at the moment Adrian turned his head and gave me a knowing look "damn" I thought "I thought

I fooled him to" but it just proved it's a lot harder to fool a spirit user, let alone one that is a friend/stalker, so it looks like I will be having a talk with him later as well then,

but I wasn't going to worry about that, it wouldn't be as bad as the conversation with Lissa, at least he knew I have intense feelings for me ex-mentor. Right then the bell

rung signalling first period, I let out a sigh of relief saved by the bell, the tension at the table was horrible although Eddie and Christian seemed not to notice anything was up,

Lissa and Adrian defiantly did and I was thankful to get away, and so I gave Lissa a quick hug and said bye to everyone, I headed off to my first lesson of the day- Advanced

Guardian combat techniques.

This was always one of my favourite classes, where I could just beat the hell out of anyone and take out my frustration and anger caused by HIM and put it into my moves,

and damn it did work. I was unstoppable and one thing he was right about, it by him 'moving on' (as he put it) I was a hell of a lot better fighter, but for all the wrong

reasons, pain, anger, sadness was all in my moves but also in my heart. I was now currently fighting with a guardian seems no one wanted or allowed me to fight with novices

anymore because the last sparing I had landed them in the infirmary. And they were constantly trying to find guardians to keep up with my advanced learning, so guardians

only often stayed for a few weeks. Which and let me say this guardian –guardian Tarivo- was a first class guardian, which was clearly shown in his fighting. But no one gets

the better of a Hathaway, especially a heart broken one. But damn he was good. We circled each other for what felt like an eternity looking for an opening in the others

defences, but neither of us let up, so eventually went for my gut, which I blocked quickly, but what he didn't expect was for me to kick his legs out from underneath him while

he was going for my gut, which landed him on the floor, but they don't call him good for no reason. He quickly rolled out from in front of me and made a punch for my head

which I couldn't block in time, but it didn't faze me one bit, I was in the zone. I then pretended to fake right, which he was expecting, but he wasn't expecting me to actually

punch right and which lead to him becoming off balance... but that's all I needed I launched myself at him with full weight and we both thudded onto the floor- me on top- but

before he had a chance to do anything I had my hand right over where his heart would be and pronounced him dead- yeah I was badass.

This is the new Rose Hathaway Badass and broken.

Watch out St. Valdimirs because I'm not sparing anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the reviews guys I really appreciate your feedback. I would like to say a thank you to UnderworldVampirePrincess who was the first person to review my first ever fan fic and a thank you to the other people who reviewed my story who helped speed up this next chapter. I love to hear what you guys say, so yeah keep the reviews up and I hope you enjoy!

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><p>After beating three guardians in my first class, and receiving some pretty hard hits which were most probably going to leave some bruises (which doesn't really matter<p>

because I do not feel pain, or at least that's what I try to convince myself) I headed off to my second class of the day: Bodyguard theory and personal protection which none

other than Stan Alto. Making my way to class I took my time, I had to admit my body was a little sore, not that I would let anyone else know that, I was invincible remember?

So I sat down had a drink and changed out of my sweaty, smelly gym cloths because as much as I hate Stan and would love to come into his class smelly just to piss him off,

for me to actually sit in class smelling of perspiration I didn't like the thought and you gotta admit it doesn't really hold much sex appeal. And so I took my time changing

cloths and re-hydrating myself with some diet coke (which Adrian snuck into the academy because he thought I needed a pick-me-up) and eating about a dozen bourbons.

I ended up being about fifteen minutes late for class which wasn't that bad considering I have been later, but does that matter to Stan? Nope because as soon as I walk he

says "ah Hathaway I see you have decided to grace us with your presence today, how lovely. Sit Down Now!" which majorly pissed me off because does he take in that my

mentor/love of my life left me just over a month and a half ago after our night in the cabin (although I don't expect him to know about the last part) no he doesn't. Does he

take in that I just beat up three fully grown guardians twice my height and aching like shit? Nope, does he take in that I hurt all over and it might just MIGHT take me longer

to walk here? No he fucking doesn't. No one messes with Rose Hathaway especially Stan Alto "sure Stan but wouldn't you want me to grace you with my presence up there

with you, you know I could even show you some fighting techniques seems yours are nonexistent" I said this in a very polite, smiley face just to piss him off that little bit

more, and sure as hell he didn't like it, this was evident by the fact his face was red as a tomato and hands balled up in fists at his sides. My comment also earned quite a few

sniggers in the class which Stan defiantly did not like "now Miss Hathaway I'm not quite sure why I would want you up here when I just told you to sit down, and as for my

nonexistent fighting techniques you should look at yourself before you criticise other people" he said in a strained voice, obviously losing his self control "ha he walked straight

into that one" I thought "well yes I'm sorry I forgot you wouldn't want me up there with you I'm a girl, you would much prefer a man up there with you perhaps you should

ask one of the guardians? I'm sure they could help you with your technique problems" I added this part with a wink so he knew exactly what I was getting at "and as for MY

fighting techniques I took down three fully trained guardians today, tell me stand could you do that at seventeen while missing two years of education? No? So shut the hell up

and get back to what you do best, theory! Not practical!" I said screaming the last part. By the look and Stans face he was not impressed, in fact it looked like that ugly vain

on his fore head was about to explode from high blood pressure, and I bet what he was about to say would have been hilarious but right that moment I was just needed to get

out, so I bolted for the door (I already had my bag seems I didn't even get a chance to sit down and put it on the floor) and ran straight for the toilets at the end of the

corridor. I made it there just in time to throw up the dozen bourbons I ate right before class. "Damn" I thought "I wasn't even thinking of him and yet I still puke my guts up!"

I was angry at myself, why do I let him get to me like that? And now look what it has reduced me to! This is where I vowel to myself that I will never let anyone get to me like

he has ever again.

From now on Rose Hathaway fly's solo.

After class, well I wouldn't really call it class seems I didn't learn much or stay there for long, I decided to take the whole day off and head to my dorm. I wasn't feeling

particularly social today and just wanted some 'me' time to get my head straight. I'm sure Alberta won't be happy when she hears about me bunking off class but I think she

will realise I'm dealing with issues at the moment. Alberta is the only guardian here who actually cares about me, now he's gone Alberta is the only guardian I respect; she's

been like a mum to me. Once getting to my dorm I get in and do one thing I never normally do, lock my door. I never lock my door I always keep it open for the people I care

about to come see me but seems like no one cares recently and I want some alone time, so for me this is drastic measures, but hey that's what happens at desperate times.

Once I'm in the safe confinements of my room I change out of the cloths I have been wearing for the whole of thirty minutes and decide to take a shower because I didn't

take one this morning (I know, I know, its disgusting but I really wanted to try and avoid a situation like the one between me and Stan, but guess that one backfired) and plus

my muscles need relaxing after my intense workout this morning.

The hot water ran nicely through my long brown hair and down my back, soothing my tense and bruised muscles. Steam fogged up the glass doors to the shower making it

impossible to see through and it just seemed I was in my own world. Happy with no one to disturb me, a place where I'm not stressed and can forget about my screwed up

life and relax, my shower just seemed like heaven. After washing my hair, with a citrus fruit shampoo and condition I might add, I reluctantly came out of my own personal

heaven and back into the real world. "Well it was nice while it lasted I thought" drying myself with my red towel I suddenly came over very tired and the whole of today's

events were taking its tow on me and all I wanted to do is change into some very comfy sweats and clambered into bed, with my hair still wet, not that I cared I was just so

tired. One thing I only wished for is that I don't have the nightmare that keeps recurring each night for a month and a half; otherwise I'm just sleeping myself into my own

personal hell.


	3. Chapter 3

I was rudely awoken to a very loud banging on my door 'Bang! Bang! Bang!' as the locks on my door were being tested "hmmm maybe I shouldn't have locked the door" I

mused, but whoever this person was, they weren't happy, and so I become more reluctant to open, but I had to admit they were bloody persistent. So eventually after what felt

like hours of banging and both of us becoming more and more pissed off, this person didn't look like they were going to leave, and so I didn't really have a choice but to open the

door. The banging stopped as the 'visitor' heard my footsteps, and waited for the locks to be unlocked. I groggily made my way to the door; although I didn't have THE

nightmare, I still didn't sleep easily because there will still an underlining of uneasiness, and so let's just say I wasn't in the best of moods especially after being woken up so

rudely. My hand reached for the key and in one swift movement the door was unlocked, and I threw my door open letting the visitor know I wasn't happy, But I was honestly

surprised to who I saw.

There standing at my door was Alberta. Now normally seeing Alberta wasn't usually a surprise but she has been so busy lately. There have been reports on mass numbers of

strigoi around the globe and so all head of guardians or schools, courts, hospitals, and any other place where large numbers of moroi and dhampire's live surrounded by the

protection of wards, would meet with their guardian teams and are trying to figure out a solution, or at least some sort of protection to us, but with dhampire numbers falling and

strigoi numbers rising it was defiantly going to be a challenge. And by the look on Alberta's face it is showing that it is a lot easier said than done. To me Alberta has always been

fairly good looking, but at the moment she looked like a mess, her hair –although its short- looked a mess and had piles of hair sticking out everywhere, and dark circles under

her eyes, which much like me showed she wasn't sleeping well, but I highly doubt it was for the same reasons as mine. Her posture also normally made her look important and

confident in a –I can break your face any minute- way but at the moment she looked worn out and defeated. Apart from the fact Alberta didn't know about me and him, this was

another reason why I couldn't talk to her, she was already stressed and didn't need me adding more, so I keep my problems to myself ad deal with them by myself, I don't need

anyone.

Alberta just stood there looking at me, she looked like she wanted to tell me off but just didn't have the energy, and so I just stepped aside and let her into my very messy room

(not that I cared, no one normally came to my room anymore). She looked at me and raised an eyebrow, but said nothing about the state of my room. Instead she went and sat

on the chair at my desk, and made myself comfy on my messy bed. "I love you like a daughter Rose, you know that don't you?" she asked me, I could still read her emotions

through her guardian mask and it showed sadness, love and understanding. "You know you can always trust me with anything good... or bad, if you asked me not to tell I

wouldn't. I could never do that to you" now I felt really guilty she want to know why I have been acting strange lately, and I just knew I couldn't tell her I still feel as if I owe it

to him, even though I know I don't "you know I love you to, just like the mum I never had, but what are you getting at Alberta?" I asked knowing full well where this

conversation is going. She sighed. "Rose I know something's up I'm not stupid and not being rude but you look like crap. You have very dark circles under your eyes, paler skin

and god knows how many dress sizes you've dropped, in the past month and a bit. And I've wanted to come and talk to you for a long time, but you know how things have been,

and I'm sure you can tell their not going good just from looking at me, I just haven't been able to get away, but I'm here now so please talk to me". I looked away knowing I was

at my breaking point, Alberta knows I care about her a lot but I just can't talk about it, I can't bare admitting it to myself let alone anyone else. I was in denial. HE left me. I'm

alone so I'm going to deal with it on my own, but I knew Alberta wasn't going to give up easily, so I said "Alberta I'm fine honestly I'm just not sleeping well recently, I think the

atmosphere around here is getting to me, everyone is so hyped up about the strigoi I think it's just put everyone on edge" obviously I lied. "don't lie to me Rose, I have known

you for thirteen years, I can tell when you're lying. It kills me to see you like this, tell me what's happened, please?" I looked up in to Alberta's eyes to see tears forming, she

looked hurt, betrayed, and a little bit angry, I couldn't say anything to that, what was I suppose to say? "Hey yeah Alberta I've been having a relationship with my ex-mentor, we

slept together right under your nose and you didn't know then he left me and all I feel is cheap and used" 'pffft' yeah right get real, so instead I settled for saying nothing, ad

when Alberta realised this nothing more was going to be said she sighed and got up "okay Rose I get it you don't want to talk, but I know you wouldn't skip class for no good

reason, especially when you're on the road to becoming a great guardian, so please just go back to class. I need to get back to the meetings, now that Dimitri has gone we need

to find a replacement but that's proving to be difficult" she said to me. I flinched, especially at the last part, I have been trying to block him out, and now hearing his name just

brought it all back, the dormant feelings of pain, loneliness, isolation, anger but I couldn't help it, I loved him. Alberta was studying me closely, not letting any emotions through

her guardian mask but the moment only lasted a few seconds though because after that she hastily turned around and left my room, looking kind of angry.

I figured seemed Alberta only asked me to go to class, that I didn't have to go, after all Alberta didn't order me to. So I stayed in my room, and unfortunately I was

unsuccessfully trying not to think of him, but it was so hard everything reminded me of him, and thinking of all that we had and how complete I felt, to now. I think I'm

depressed. I needed to talk to someone but I can't let it out, it's just not me I' strong, I'm independent, I'm Rose Hathaway, letting it out would be showing I'm weak, and I'm

defiantly not weak, but oh how I long for out old practise sessions, even a punch from him made me weak at the knees and longing for more, and the way he looked at me, he

really did love me "God get a hold of yourself women he never loved you" I chased myself, I shouldn't be thinking like this. Suddenly I couldn't stand it anymore, hiding my

feelings, keeping secretes, being so isolated and distant to everyone, I just wasn't me. I didn't deserve this! So off I stormed to Alberta's office. I was going to pour my heart out

to her and hopefully she would understand and comfort me, and not leave me like he did. I know she said she was busy, but I really needed my mum right now, and she is the

closest I can get to one.

As I got down to Alberta's office her door was slightly ajar and a voice was coming from inside, I peaked inside, just in case I was interrupting something important (if it was

Kirova it would have been a different story, but this is Alberta and I knew she was under stress so I wasn't going to cause any trouble) but all I heard was Alberta's voice. She

was frustrated that I could easily tell from her voice, but as I came closer to the door, and looked inside and I gasped. She was on the phone, but that's not what surprised me, it

was what she said that did. "I know Dimitri but she's a mess" she paused for a minute "oh screw you Belikov!" she shouted down the phone.


	4. Chapter 4

I quickly backed away from the door _"Belikov"... "Belikov"... "As in Dimitri!?" _I thought... he knows he knows I'm depressed? Alberta knows I'm depressed? Who else knows I'm depressed? "God Rose you're so stupid! All you had to do is pretend everything's normal, but you couldn't even do that now could you? Stupid, Stupid girl no wonder Dimitri left you" I flinched, he left me. He's gone, just like everyone I love. I ran back to my room, so fast the speed would match a strigoi, but I pushed on, and on until I reached my room, and even then I wanted to carry on running, away from Dimitri, away from my feelings, and away from my whole stupid messed up life. Tears were threatening to spill. I sighed. I plonked myself on my bed just concentrating on not crying and calming my nerves, not letting this overwhelming loneliness fills me up, I still had Lissa right? Ha! I laughed to myself yeah, if I can ever pull her away from Pyro, which was hardly ever, not that I blame her I wouldn't want to be around me at the moment either. "LISSA" I thought, oh shit she was meant to be coming over later to have our little 'talk', which by the way I was not looking forward to. I opened the bond a little more to see where she was, hopefully she forgot.

_She was lying on Pyro's chest in the church attic, just content to listing to his steady breathing, "it calms me so much, she thought". "So how's Rose? I mean everyone by now has heard about Stans class, but I mean that's pretty normal for her, it's just she hasn't really been around a lot lately" Christian said, worry was evident _into his voice. _'Poor boy probably just misses my banter' I thought. "Actually that reminds me I need to go see her, something's not right with her, ever since Guardian Belikov left she's not herself, and I'm quite worried" there was a long pause where both Lissa and Christian were thinking " I'm going to go see her now" Lissa said breaking the silence. I could tell as she was getting up that she didn't want to leave him, but she wanted to come and see me and check if I was alright. And so with that she gave Pyro a quick kiss and left. _This is when I chosewhen to leave Lissa's head,I needed to prepare myself for my conversation with her, what was I going to say? Could I actually tell he what has happened? I questioned myself the whole time while I changed and washed my face, I'm sure it wouldn't help my situation if Lissa saw me as the mess that I was. Just as I had finished drying my just washed face with the same red towel I used to dry myself when I came out of the shower this morning, there was a knock at the door. 'Knock' 'knock' 'knock', three rapid knocks, but each of them scared the shit out of me. Lissa's out there. Not even trying to pretend that I wasn't here, because she knew I was, I grudge fully went and opened the door. There standing like the royal princess she was, it was Lissa. She wore a light pink track suit with a diamante crown on it. I knew she only wore track suits when she was too lazy to make an effort with her appearance, but she always looked regal, she didn't need to try.

I stepped aside giving her space to enter, no need asking her why she was here. I already knew. We both made ourselves comfy on my double bed. And now it was awkward. We both sat there in silence, wondering who would speak first. Well it certainly wouldn't be me I don't even want this conversation to happen, and so if I could postpone it a little longer I would. Call me a coward if you want, I don't care what anyone thinks of me, not anymore, I'm a new Rose. Lissa seemed to realise this because she said "trying to avoid this Rose is inevitable, I'm here and I will be here all night until I know what's happened. You're my sister Rose, I love you, please let me here for you like you were for me" she said in a soft voice, as if she thought I was going to break any minute, I don't blame her, I most probably do look breakable, because I most defiantly felt it. "I love you to Lissa" I said in a small voice "it's just so hard to talk, I feel like if I do I'm weak, I should be able to deal with it myself, in a few months I'm going to be a guardian, your life is going to be in my hands I need to be independent" and it wasn't until I said this to Lissa that I realised how true this really felt to me. I did feel the need to be independent and it was a lot of pressure. "Rose letting your feelings out doesn't make you dependable on anyone, and in fact it will make you stronger. I can see you really need to let this out, it won't make me think any less of you, I wouldn't judge you, I mean after my past who would I be to judge you? Please? Rose it's killing me seeing you like this. Tell me has someone hurt you? Because if they have I will make them pay" she said quite fiercely and I could tell through the bond that she meant it every word of it, and that's what's making it so hard for me not to tell her, I mean she's my best friend, why shouldn't I tell her? I sighed; life is always so difficult for me.

When I did eventually speak I was honestly surprised about what I said "Dimitri". Ouch. That hurt, even to say it, but the cat's out of the bag now. "Rose what about him? Are you worried about your mentoring? Because if so I can speak to Alberta she can find you a better mentor" I let out a breath "no Lissa I'm not worried about mentoring, I can take down almost anyone here" I said sadly, training just didn't hold the same meaning anymore, nothing did. I felt confusion sweep through the bond "w...What do you mean 'Dimitri' then Rose? I honestly don't understand" I sucked in a breath "I love him" I said blankly, no need to say anything else the words hold all the meaning I need. "No Lissa, as in I'm IN love with him" I said, sensing her next question. Silence, and lots of it. Lissa didn't know what to say, she didn't have a clue how to handle this. _"Maybe she's joking"_ she thought _"or maybe she's delusional, I mean he's a guardian he can't possible feel the same... n...Not that Rose is unlovable it's just he's A GUARDIAN"_ she was incredibly confused; my head was actually hurting because of her thinking.

"He felt the same" I announced, just trying to shut up all her thinking, the headache wasn't doing any good for my mood. That's when I realised what I said was wrong, HE didn't love me, he never loved me-he wouldn't have left otherwise, he used me. My heart sunk at the thought and at the memory. "Well at least I thought he did, until he l...l...Left me" I said, my voice breaking at the end. What can I say? Truth hurts. Alot. "He used me". Uncontrollable sobs started to rack my body and once I started I just couldn't stop. This seemed to shock Lissa out her own little world and she leant forward and hugged me and so I just cried and cried until I ran out of tears, but even then I was whimpering, and Lissa just carried on stroking my hair and comforting me.

After a while when I began to tire, Lissa broke the silence and said "Rose I'm not going to pretend I understand, or that I'm not hurt that you didn't tell me this sooner, but I love you, you are my sister and so I'm here for you one-hundred and ten percent. Now I'm not going to push you into telling me more because it quite obviously still raw, and hard to talk about but when you are ready I'm here" she hugged me tighter "now sleep Rose I'm not leaving you tonight" she said soothingly but then I realised something "but Lissa you could get caught" I said meaning for it to come out strong but it just came out weak and needy. "I don't care your my best friend and you need me, if they don't like it well then they can go suck eggs" she said determined to stay, and to be frank she sounded a lot like me, I let out a light chuckle and said "I think I'm rubbing off on you Liss" as I fell into my deep slumber of sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

When I awoke the next morning both me and Lissa were still fully clothed which was a pain, but one thing I was thankful for was that I slept really well, nightmare free, which

was the first for a very long time. It was now Saturday and so classes were over until Monday again, so I just laid back and relaxed enjoying time in the company of my best

friend, even if she was asleep, her presence was comforting, much like a teddy, knowing they're there just calms your nerves down. It's funny really but I feel so much more

relaxed today, I mean the pain and loneliness is still there, but it wasn't taking over my life like it had been, it had dimmed and I have to admit I felt strangely refreshed. "I

guess I really did need to let it out" I thought to myself, and although I didn't let much out the weight that had been taken off my shoulders was huge. I know I can trust Lissa

and so that's what I'm going to do, after all she's all I have left. I feel within myself that I'm strong enough to get through the story without having a breakdown. This is the start

to a new Rose.

Suddenly lurched forward and out of the bed and straight for the toilet the urge to puke my guts was strong, but thankfully I made it to the toilet in time. However I must have

woken Lissa when I launched myself out of bed, because she's now kneeling besides me holding my hair out of the way while I'm bringing up the little food I had yesterday. I

guess my stomach didn't like the idea of me telling Lissa, but like hell if I'm going to listen to it, I'm Rose Hathaway I don't listen to anyone, even if it is my stomach.

After I have finished my puking episode I turned to Lissa and gave her a reassuring smile to let her know not to worry, anyway it wasn't a big deal it would go away soon. Then I

turned to the sink and brushed my teeth. Who wants smelly sick breath? Defiantly not me. After I finished cleaning myself up, I went to go see Lissa in my bedroom, where she

had been waiting patiently for me to finish. She was sitting on my bed with her legs crossed, still in her pink track suit from yesterday. When she saw me come in she gave me a

cautious smile "hey don't worry Lissa, something I was thinking of made me nauseous, no need to panic" I said soothingly, I didn't want her to worry. The room then lapsed into

a comfortable silence. "I'm ready, I can do this" I thought and so gulping down a big breath I said "okay Lissa I'm going to tell you everything, because I know your desperate to

know, just please don't interrupt me because when I start it will all just come out" I chuckled, Lissa just pretended to zip her mouth up and 'throw away the key' "okay so me

and D...D... Him were together, it wasn't planned but it just happened" I said, I then went on to explain about theme and Jesse in the abandoned lounge, the lust charm, me and

him in the gym just after Mason's death, the cabin, and him leaving (without a word to me might I add).

I let out a breath, a huge weight had been taken off me that I didn't even know was there, it's out Lissa knows, and I feel very good about it. I couldn't help feeling bad, she

should have known about this earlier maybe then I wouldn't have suffered as much and she's my best friend she should have known, but I can't change the past so I'm going to

change the future, I'm not going to be sad little Rose. I'm going to be defiant and strong he's going to regret ever leaving me, and if I ever see him again I'm going to kick his

ass all the way to sunny Mexico. "Wow!" Lissa said breaking the comfortable silence in the room "I never knew that much was going on, I never knew you felt this way. Oh Rose

I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you, but I'm going to be here for you now, you're not going to be able to get rid of me" she smiled at the thought but also feeling guilty that she

wasn't there for me, and I did to oh I do love Lissa "no Liss don't worry it was my fault I should have told you, I was just a coward not too I'm the one who should be sorry" I

said "but I should have noticed, If I hadn't have been spending so much time with Christian then-" I cut her off "no Lissa it's not your fault, he's your boyfriend, don't worry" I

said, she was getting herself all worked up now, she just needed to calm down. "But Rose you're my best-"she started "no Lissa please, let's just agree to disagree yeah?

Otherwise we could be like this all night". She nodded and smiled, then tackled me with a big hug until we were both lying on the floor laughing so much, my belly felt like it was

going to explode. After a while Lissa said "well Rose I promise I'm going to make more time for you, starting from now. So let's go get you some of them donuts" she said

offering her hand out to me so I could get up. I smiled to myself this was a start to a new beginning.

Once down in the cafeteria Lissa told me to go sit down and that she would get the food, I tried to protest but she was adamant se would also I could tell through the bond that

she wanted to look after me, and this was her way of doing it, so I complied and went to go sit down with Eddie and Christian. "hey guys" I said cheerily I was feeling a lot

happier "hey Rosie Posie someone's happy today aren't they?" Pyro asked he obviously thought that now I was out of my mood that it was alright to test his boundaries and call

me Rosie Posie, but I wasn't going to let him bring me down, so I simply replied with a "yep" and smiled. "So Rose what's got you in such a good mood then?" Eddie asked

curiously I grinned at him "Lissa" I said happily, "yeah" Lissa said getting to the table, thinking that were asking her something "oh no Rose was just telling us what's put her in

such a good mood lately that's all" Eddie said. "yep" she said making a popping sound on the 'P' "me and Rosie have had some nice girl time" she said smiling "oh that reminds

me! We should go shopping, or to the spar or something it would be so much fun!" Lissa said happily. I could tell through the bond Lissa was ecstatic, at first she was a little

angry, guilty, upset but that was all to be expected but now she's like a new Lissa. A plate of four chocolate glazed donuts appeared in front of me and I couldn't help my mouth

watering they just smelt so delicious! And so I just dug in eating them as quickly as possible, they were just so good!

Once I had finished I turned to look at Eddie, Christian, and Lissa to see them all staring at me with their gobs as big as they can get "shut your gobs guys it's not an attractive

look" I said "God guys anyone would have thought you haven't seen me eat before" I said in a shocked voice, obviously faking, but I tried to make it as believable as I could,

after all Rose is back, and I want some fun.


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days were good, I was on the road to recovery and my heart was healing, and I'm sure people were noticing my better moods and complexion. I was still the same

badass Hathaway but I could control my feelings a lot better now, and channel them into things, instead of them becoming wild and out of control. I mean I still feel angry at

Dimitri for leaving me but it doesn't hurt me so much anymore I can now say his name without being overloaded with feelings, although I still get a pang of sadness and anger,

but nothing I can't control. I think my recent recovery is mainly due to the great support of Lissa she has been my rock through this, and although people have been nice around

me but they never knew what was up, except Lissa. There has also been a big change in myself I can open up more to people, well only Lissa really because I know I can trust

her, but other people? Not so much. I mean yeah I love Eddie, Pyro, Alberta and Adrian but after Dimitri leaving it has been an automatic thing to shut down and not let people

in, because if you don't let people in they can't hurt you when they leave. I'm still as deadly as ever though, I still have all the pain and suffering from Dimitri leaving and so I

channel that in my fighting, and well let's just say I can kick butt. And I love it.

I still have mentoring, and people have recently been complaining that I didn't need it, and that they should be mentored instead but Alberta understand I need the time to get

my anger out, not to actually train, because let's be honest there's not much more these guardians they keep bringing in can teach me, I'm just that awesome. Also after my

slow recovery I'm puking a lot less, and I think it's because the heartbreak is starting to heal, and although it will never heal back to normal, much like a fracture, your bone will

break and heal but it will never be exactly the same as before, but I'm getting stronger to overcome it. Now I'm mainly only puking after my morning trainings, which I think is

partly due to the exercise as well, but as it seems to be going, I feel there's no need to tell Alberta, I didn't want to worry her.

Yes Alberta is still extremely busy with the planning on these larger numbers of strigoi forming in places around the world, and it's becoming increasingly worrying. Every time I

see Alberta she's always looking really tired and stressed, not a good look on her.

So here I am in my room reflecting on my life, I've actually taken to writing a diary, I find it really helps with getting my emotions out, because I feel I can't trust people I can

only trust myself, so writing a diary is the perfect solution, I can get my feelings out without having to rely on anyone. So in this diary I am currently writing at this very moment

contains everything about me and Dimitri, Lissa, Eddie, Christian, Alberta, Mason. Everyone. This is why I always keep it well hidden, because if it was found, well all hell would

break lose. Then out of the blue there was a knock at the door, and I quickly jumped out of my bed and hid the diary under a loose wooden floorboard in my room, then go to

get the door.

There standing at my door was Alberta, she had the same tired-worn look she had been wearing for days, but now along with that was excitement. "Rose come with me" she

said, a direct order, I couldn't disobey, not that I wouldn't I trust Alberta and so I followed her along.

She was leading me to the guardian building, where I met the disciplinary committee when the little 'incident' happened with the field experience. Now I started to panic 'I hadn't

done anything wrong have I?" I thought but I hadn't, I've been on good behaviour since Dimitri left. Alberta seemed to be smiling back at me, obviously noticing my discomfort

as an attempt to comfort me, but it wasn't working. As I was lead into the guardian building I were led into a long corridor, with one big wooded door at the end, you know like

the big medieval ones? Yep just like that. As we reached the door, they both just suddenly opened, like they were expecting us, whoever 'they' were.

I gasped, this is the room the use for meetings and banquets, it is an efficient and practical room, much like all the guardians here. Within the room, there were many guardians

all seated in different rows all facing the stage at the front of the room. Through the bond I could feel that Lissa was here, not only that she was excited, REALLY excited. Alberta

led me through the crown of guardians to the front and onto the stage, all the time I was wondering why the hell I was here. As soon as I was on the stage Alberta pointed to a

seat next to guardian Lionel, the tattooist and told me to sit there. From where I could was I could see Lissa beaming at me, next to here were Adrian, Eddie, and Christian

whose faces all matched Lissa's. "Okay" I thought "I'm getting kinda freaked why the hell was I here? Why are they all smiling at me like creepy clowns?" but I kept my face cool

and my guardian mask on (which I had recently perfected) however it didn't help my nerves that Lissa was blocking me out of the bond. "Good morning everyone" Alberta

announced when standing at the podium at the front of the stage "we have gathered you to this very important meeting to congratulate a very fine member of our team. She has

continually shown us her potential amazing fighting skills and I believe that in the near future she will make a legacy of her own for novices in the future to look up to and

admire. So on the this joyous occasion I would like to announce that Rosemarie Anne Hathaway is being given her promise mark a month early due to her amazing skills and

willingness to put others before herself. Congratulations"

The crowd erupted in cheers, clapping and whistling. Lissa and all my friends were standing out of their seats, cheering me on the loudest. If I'm going to answer honestly I'm

shocked, beyond belief. I've never heard of a novice getting their promise mark early, especially a bad behaved one like me. No there must be some sort of mistake, and all this

time I just couldn't move out of my seat, I was frozen. Well this was until Lissa came up on stage and hugged me, this shook me out of my trance, and I hugged her back. All I

could feel through the bond was her extreme happiness and pride. When she pulled back from the hug I beamed back at her with the biggest smile "I can't believe it I'm going to

become a guardian!" I exclaimed I felt so happy right now, my life was finally complete, and I could last without Dimitri, this just proved it. Instead of Lissa saying anything she

smiled back at me and went to go take her place again, but I could feel everything I needed through the bond.

Once people had settled down Alberta began to talk again, she let out a chuckle "I know this is surprising Rosemarie but we wouldn't do this if we didn't have complete faith in

you, you know all the guardians you faced?" she asked me, not trusting my voice I just nodded "well they were qualifiers of a different sort, instead of taking a normal trial like

the other novices, we tested you with experienced qualifiers around the world to test you, then report back to us" she continued "and I'm so very pleased to announce that you

passed them with flying colours!".

The ceremony continued much like my molnija ceremony but this time I also had to take my guardian's oath, which was basically me promising to put moroi before myself and

keep the safe which I obviously agreed to, 'duh' that's a bit obvious. After all the talking we finally got down to business and I felt the familiar sting of the needle, marking my

neck permanently with the needle 'no turning back now' I thought as the needle was piercing my skin, marking me with the deadly sign that would tell strigoi that I'm deadly.

After my promise mark was done guardian Lionel told me how to look after my tattoo, but I didn't listen I already knew how to do it, of course I pretend to, it would be rude not

to, so I added a nod and a "yes" when I though appropriate and he sent me on my way.

I was first tackled down by Lissa with a big hug and she was telling me the whole time how proud she was of me, that I was so strong and that she loved me. Then next I was

greeted my Pyro that hugged me, he didn't say anything but the look that he gave me said more than a million words. Eddie was next up "ha ha well Rosie looks like you're my

boss now" he said with a cheeky grin "yeah I guess I am, but I tell you what I won't bust your for sneaking out" I said, of course joking but he just laughed and moved on. The

ceremony continued on like that and I had congratulations from many people, Adrian, Stan, Kirova, and basically all my teachers. Alberta had also come up to me and informed

me that I would receive my moroi at the novice's graduation and for now that I would be helping out with guarding the school. She also gave me my own stake, with a rose vine

in carved on it, with 'Rose' written on it. One person who did surprise me was my mum. She was here and had watched my ceremony why didn't I spot her? I thought. Anyway

she hugged me but didn't say much, one thing I had learnt was that my mum was a woman of very few words, not that I minded.

Out of the blue I felt uneasiness, anger, worry and fierceness coming through the bond. 'Oh god something's wrong Lissa's in trouble why was she feeling this? I was instantly on

guard and searched the room for Lissa. I spotted her across the room-she looked fine, what was with the emotional overload? Then I realised she was staring at something, well

more like a death glare to someone, not something. I looked at where she was looking, and then I felt my stomach heave at what I saw... It was Dimitri. And that's when I threw

up.


	7. Chapter 7

Alberta's POV:

I sighed again for the fifth time I have been in this meeting, of course I sighed under my breath, otherwise that would be unprofessional, and in this business you need to always keep up your image otherwise people think they can walk all over you.

So here we are again sitting in the conference room in the guardian building in yet another meeting on how we propose to safe guard moroi and rid the world of evil strigoi, and so if that sounds easy to you well let me tell you it's not.

I'm now currently on my sixth cup of black coffee in an attempt to keep myself awake but if I'm honest it's not doing much good. And so far all we have come up with is either have all the eldest novices graduate early, which is ridiculous.

I had much expected this argument to come up, but one: it would only last a few years and then what? And after seeing what it had done to Rose, well there was no was going to let them graduate early, so when this came up in the first meeting, I disagreed completely.

However Yuri had argued and said "oh come on Guardian Petrov you saw Rose in the field experience, she was dangerous, you can't denied it" I smiled sadly at the thought "yes she was, but look what all the death has done to her, she's not herself anymore, all you have to do is take one look at her to see it. We need to give the novices time to prepare, because sending them out there on their own unprepared will only make numbers fall more"

"But in our world the struggle for survival is always lurking, and the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment. We need to adapt, If we don't we die. Simple as, and plus they only have two months until graduation, what more do they have to learn?" she said, thinking that she had won it, but I wasn't going to let that happen.

So I replied "a lot" I replied simply and dryly "but the-" I cut her off "enough" I said with authority in my tone, and I gave her the I'm-not-messing-around look "there is no way on earth you will get me to agree for the novice to graduate early, it's only a short turn solution and won't solve the main problem, and it's cruel to send KIDS out there they need the two months to mentally prepare, we need to find another solution, one that will be long term. End of story"

Since then, well there still hasn't been much progress. Many different ideas have been flying all over the place: juggling guardian shifts around, making the guardians work longer shifts, and merging schools together so there could be more guardians guarding one place at a time.

These were the three main ideas that we had, however each of them came with their own problems, and each of them had their own problems and making the guardians work longer shifts was just cruel likewise joining schools together would hold more of a risk of an attack because strigoi would target places with higher numbers of moroi, especially with their increasing numbers.

I let out a growl of frustration. These problems just seemed endless, and we couldn't seem to find a suitable short term solution, let alone a long term solution. Right now I feel like I want to rip out what's left of my short hair in annoyance. Everyone was silent, mulling over the options we had, but none of them were suitable.

All of a sudden someone cleared their throat, breaking the awful, awkward silence that had enclosed the room. I swiftly turned in the direction that it came on to see guardian Celeste looking at me proudly. "Please let her have something suitable to say" I thought, we just needed some good luck at the moment, anything that would help. "Yes guardian Celeste, you have something to suggest" at this moment I was ready to hear anything.

"Yes guardian Petrov, may I suggest that we that we keep all the guardian schedules near enough the same as we can, and have the older novices pair up with one guardian, on a shift paroling the parameter so therefore we could have double the amount of security, and it could be a training exercise for the novices. That way no novices need to graduate early, they get trained in real life circumstances, and we have more security" She said glowing, and I could tell she was proud of her suggestion, and to be honest she should be, that's the best idea I've heard all day.

I smiled at her "Celeste, that's the best idea I've heard all day" I said wistfully this could possible work, right now we just need to think of any problems that could occur with this.

"It's not too much of a problem that we have the novices missing any core subjects (e.g. math's, English, history etc) because getting this close to graduation they're not going to need it much, but the only thing I'm worried about is that they will miss out on their combat classes and training sessions because they will all be on different time schedules" This time Guardian Jean who had been sitting in the corner seat listening to what was being said spoke up "If I may Guardian Petrov?" she looked over at me for permission, which I approved of with a sharp nod of my head.

"Now this will take a lot of planning, and hard work from the guardians, but what we could do is we could scrap all the novices classes all together" this earned a few gasps and shakes of the head, but I just simply listened, this could actually work "then we could pair up ever novice with a guardian from the school, because we have enough. Then because we will have more pairs of guardians paroling the parameter that means more guardians will have a longer time off. Then during this time the guardians who have been paired up with a novice can have a two hour training session with their assigned guardians, much like miss Hathaway and Guardian Belikov to keep their skills up, and there will still be enough time for everyone to have their own time off as well" she finished. I couldn't believe it this could work, and I'm quite impressed, and by the looks of everyone else in the room they were to.

"Okay guardians this sounds like an improvement we could make, now it won't be long term solution but it will do for the next two months, and it sounds like it will make some significant improvements to security. So does anyone disagree with this suggestion?" I asked, secretly hoping no one would. I just wanted to get out of the cramped room I had been in for quite a while. Luckily everyone stayed silent and no one disagreed, so I said "this is early start yet people, and I'm going to have to talk to Queen Tatiana and Head Guardian Hans Croft about this, but if they see no problem with this, we will start preparing as soon as possible. You are dismissed" I said as I picked up my papers and left the room.

I was on the way to my office to start preparing the arrangements, when Guardian Stan Alto came up to me "Guardian Petrov, I'm not sure if you're aware but Rose Hathaway wasn't in my class this morning, and I checked, she hasn't been in her combat class either" he said.

'Snitch' I thought, has he got nothing better to do? "Okay thanks Guardian Alto, I will look into it as soon as possible" I said then I started to walk away, but I stopped but didn't turn around when he asked "Oh Guardian Petrov, how did the meeting go this morning? Did anything good come of it?" so I replied simply "things are looking up Alto" short and sweet I thought I just wanted to get away and get on with my work, and so I walked away.

As soon I had reached my office, I put the documents I had carried out of the meeting on my desk and sat down. 'Rose' I thought 'she wasn't in class this morning' not that I didn't expect it, I mean she's looks terrible ever since Belikov left, she's lost so much weight her curves look non-existent, she has big black bags under hers eyes which shows she obviously hasn't been sleeping well, and her hair, well that looks awful, it's lost all its shine and just lays limply on her back.

I sighed. Why would Belikov do this? He had told me he loved her the day he left, he said she felt the same, which I knew was true, just by her reaction since he left. This is so stupid, I don't get Belikov, I use to respect him, but now I hold nothing but anger and pity for him.

He's made his choice, but obviously made the wrong one, but I will be damned if I let him come anywhere near here ever again. He's made his choice, now I'm making mine. It's now one am human time, so it's just after lunch time here I thought, great. Well I need to go talk to Rose now before I start calling the Queen and Guardian Hans Croft with our new solution, because no doubt that's all I will be doing later. So I headed off for Rose's dorm. Now I was frustrated, I have been standing outside of Rose's dorm trying to get her to open up her door; I know she's in there because it's locked from the inside. This is one thing she never does.

Now I'm starting to get a little panicked, so I banged a little harder, but stopped when I could hear her feet dragging against the floor, on the other side of the door.

Her door then swung open, and there stood sleepy-eyed rose standing in the doorway. Now I had originally planned to shout at her and tell her how irresponsible she was for skipping classes, but the way I saw her now, I just didn't have the strength to. She looked heartbroken, and defeated, I couldn't bring myself to make her feel any worse.

She was like a daughter to me, all I wanted to do is to hug her and tell her that he isn't worth her tears, but I was going to wait until she is ready tell me in her own time.

She then stepped aside, which allowed me access to her rather messy room. Hmm I thought I never remember my room ever being this messy, even when I was a teen I thought, but I just gave Rose a look then made myself comfy on the wooden chair at her desk, which was quite hard considering that it wasn't a comfy chair.

I decided that I would speak first before Rose could start making excuses for why she hasn't been in class, I also wanted her to know I wasn't her to tell her off, I knew she was going through a hard time so I wasn't going to make it any worse. "I love you like a daughter Rose, you know that don't you?" I said soothingly as possible she looked like she was going to breakdown any minute "You know you can always trust me with anything good... or bad, if you asked me not to tell I wouldn't.

I could never do that to you" I carried on; I wanted her to open up to me. It won't be good for her to keep it all locked up, but first I needed her to trust me, and to feel that she can tell me about Dimitri, but that was going to be hard, because although she considered me as a second mum, I am still captain of the Guardians here and so maybe she feels because of that she can't tell me, so that's what I'm trying to change.

"You know I love you to, just like the mum I never had, but what are you getting at Alberta?" I sighed; she was stalling, trying to doge the main question. So I then decided to for half the truth, seems that's as far as I can go "Rose I know something's up I'm not stupid and not being rude but you look like crap. You have very dark circles under your eyes, paler skin and god knows how many dress sizes you've dropped, in the past month and a bit.

And I've wanted to come and talk to you for a long time, but you know how things have been, and I'm sure you can tell their not going good just from looking at me, I just haven't been able to get away, but I'm here now so please talk to me" I was practically begging by the end of my 'speech' but I wanted so desperately for her to open up, it's killing me seeing her like this and not being able to do anything about it.

As head Guardian I am so use to being able to get things done, and to know everything I needed to know, so I'm sure you can understand why this situation was becoming more and more frustrating for me.

"Alberta I'm fine honestly I'm just not sleeping well recently, I think the atmosphere around here is getting to me, everyone is so hyped up about the strigoi I think it's just put everyone on edge". She lied, straight to my face, and I gotta admit that hurt. I was expecting her to say that she didn't want to talk about it, but she refusing to even admit to me that there's a problem, which is making it increasingly more frustrating and hurtful for me, but I've just got to remember she's not herself at the moment.

"Don't lie to me Rose, I have known you for thirteen years, I can tell when you're lying. It kills me to see you like this, tell me what's happened, please?" I said, giving it one last chance, hoping that if I told her how I was feeling, that she could do the same for me. But obviously not, because she just didn't say anything.

I think it's becoming a bit too much for her, and it seems to me she's to hurt to talk about it. 'Just let her heal a bit then she will talk to me when she's ready. Just give her time' I thought to myself "Okay Rose I get it you don't want to talk, but I know you wouldn't skip class for no good reason, especially when you're on the road to becoming a great guardian, so please just go back to class.

I need to get back to the meetings, now that Dimitri has gone we need to find a replacement but that's proving to be difficult" I said lying slightly, because I can't tell anyone about our plans yet, especially a novice. We all know how that turned out when Dimitri told Rose confidential information at the ski lodge a few months ago, no way was that to ever happen again.

And the reason I said his name is, I just need to know it's him that she's upset about, which should be obvious seems it all happened when he left, but I needed to be sure, and sure enough I got my answer, because when I said his name she flinched. At this point my anger started to boil, not at Rose but at Dimitri, how could he do this to her? After everything she's been through, it's just cruel.

This is when I left her room. I needed to get out, away from the mess that he has left her in, it's heartbreaking. I headed towards my office, planning on getting some of the new novice/guardian scheme sorted, but to be honest I don't think I can do any of that at the moment, I'm just not in the right mind set.

However I still went to my office anyway, so I could appear to be doing work. Once in my office I shut the door and went at sat in my chair perched at my desk, and shut my eyes then I started to think. I don't know how long I sat there, just thinking about this whole mess I have to deal with the strigoi and Rose but when I opened my eyes I saw it had only been about ten minutes. 'Great' I thought, this day is just going to drag on and on. Just then startling me out of my own little world my mobile phone started to ring. I sighed; do I ever get a break? Obviously not, I thought. I looked at the caller ID to see it was withheld.

That's strange; I never normally have one of them. Anyway I answered with caution, it could be something important "Guardian Petrov here" I answered but what I heard on the other end of the phone made my blood boil. "Alberta? Hello its Dimitri Belikov" I was now surged full of anger! Why is he calling? He has no right to! But I carried on being professional.

"Yes hello Belikov, what do you need?" "Err...errrm" he stuttered a bit "well I was just calling to see how Rose was, I know it's been a while but I need to know" he said desperately, but this just made me angrier, how dare he? He comes here breaks her heart then has the nerve to call and ask how she's doing, this is unacceptable, and now after seeing what he's done to her first hand, well he's going to feel the wrath of Alberta Petrov.

"wait!" I said firmly "you leave, and then call up asking how she is? That's unacceptable" I said sternly "Alberta, with all due respect, I explained to you the situation, I had no other choice" he said weakly, ha! I guess he doesn't like being the one having his emotions toyed with. Good. "I know Dimitri but she's a mess" I said, trying to show him that his current actions are unacceptable.

I for one wasn't going to take any nonsense off him "I'm sure she is but-"I interrupted him "Oh screw you Belikov!" I shouted down the phone, and there was a pause, where both me and him didn't speak. 'Oh I'm sure she is' he says like it's no big deal! This is Rose we are talking about she's not easy to break, but he's broken her and doesn't even care. He claims to love her but doesn't, if he did he wouldn't be acting like this.

"Guardian Belikov, you are no longer working for me and no longer the mentor for Miss Hathaway, and so you have no reason to be asking about her well being. Miss Hathaway will be fine as long as you stay away, and I do not want you to call me unless it is for purely professional reasons. Nothing else."

I said completely professionally, I wasn't going to let him break my control anymore. "Do you understand Guardian Belikov?" I asked, not wanting to be on the phone any longer than needs be "yes loud and clear" Belikov says sarcastically, but I just hang up, not wanting to give up any more of my time on him. I have much more important things to be dealing with than him.


	8. Chapter 8

Alberta's POV

After my little unexpected talk with Belikov, and I say that name with a lot of distaste I couldn't help but doubt that Belikov wouldn't listen to my warning, he was just too

stubborn, that's why I thought him and Rose were such a good match.

I just don't understand what's going though his brain sometimes, he's so hot and cold.

Throughout the day I carried on with the new ideas to increase security at the academy with all the paper work that needed to be done, before the decision was going to be

finalised.

To be honest I thought this new pairing idea would be great, that way the students didn't have to graduate early and they could stay within the safety of the wards, while getting

on the job training and one to one trainings, I didn't see how Hans or the Queen were going to object.

And I know it isn't going to be a long term solution but for now it will do for now.

Also while being under this intense pressure to make the academy safer because of the strigoi numbers increasing, about a month ago I had a call from Guardian Hans Croft, the

head guardian at court.

He had said to me he wanted Rose to graduate early.

Now this made me angry to say the least I was fuming. What made it worse was that he went on about how she was amazing and killed them strigoi in Spokane with blunt

swords, which was amazing.

But he didn't see her afterwards he didn't see the aftermath. She was a mess, a hollow shell of herself barely recognisable mentally and physically and wasn't ready to be

fighting so soon after but did he care? No. He just saw she had amazing fighting skills and she would be a great asset to us, but he doesn't realise she needed time to recover,

especially after Belikov leaving, but of course I wasn't going to tell him about that, and so we argued. A lot.

I must admit I see why he is head guardian, he's very forceful, but I stood my ground. No way was she ready to become a guardian mentally; she's been through a lot.

For that phone call we talked for a few hours, but nothing was solved, he's just stubborn. Of course he had listened to my point of view but at the end of the day he thought he

was right and so no one was going to change his mind, so I had said leave it with me and we will come to an arrangement.

Since then I had come up with the idea of having rose graduate early, because Hans wouldn't accept anything less, however I had insisted that for her well being she would stay

at the academy until graduation and she could help me with a few things as well as patrolling the area.

That way she graduates like Hans wants, but doesn't have to leave the school so she can recover from her trauma before having to face some more. Hans had accepted this idea

and left it with me to organise.

As if I didn't have enough to do.

While preparing for Rose to graduate, at first she had to be tested, but Rose couldn't know she was being tested because she-nor anyone else was allowed to know.

For this Hans had arranged guardians from around the world to be flown in and test Rose with all different types of fighting techniques, sparing, staking, and observation. I just

told her they were new guardians coming in to train her as I wasn't always going to be there and it would be better if she fights with different people.

Of course we knew Rose could survive in the 'real world' but she had to be tested fairly.

Very few people knew about Rose's graduation, and we needed to keep it that way, I didn't want it leaking out to Belikov.

However I had informed Guardian Hathaway on the recent news, as well as the Queen, and Guardian Celeste. So only five people knew about it, I thought it would be far safer

that way.

After the two week trial period for Rose, I was glad to hear she passed with flying colours, but I already knew she would, she has a lot of talent.

Then over the past weeks the arrangements for Rose's graduation ceremony I left Guardian Celeste to arrange, I just had too much on my plate with all the meetings to combat

the rising number of strigoi, but thankfully she gladly agreed to do it.

I think secretly all the Guardians love Rose they just refuse to admit it, but she affects everyone in this place, one way or another, you just can't help but lover her.

It's now been about a month since that phone call, and about a week since it was officially confirmed the Rose passed her tests; Guardian Celeste has been keeping me updated

on the progress she has been making with her graduation arrangements, she's now just adding the finishing touches.

Now, I'm attempting to try and make some arrangements with the whole new security plan, however I don't feel in the mood, I'm all keyed up about this phone call from Belikov

and I just can't seem to put my head down to do anything. 'God' I thought angrily 'now I know why Rose has been so upset, that man just seems to know how to get under your

skin'.

Anyway I pushed through my bad mood and carried on with my work, it's what we guardians have to do, we put our feelings aside because 'they come first'.

First things first I needed to call Guardian Croft and let him in on the new plan and see if he agrees. Then we can move from there.

I reached for the phone that is was sitting on my desk and selected Guardian Croft's number out of the phone book, and then pressed the call button.

As I waited for Hans to answer, I couldn't help but feel a little nervous, although we kept in contact fairly recently to update each other, I was unsure to what he would think.

"Guardian Croft" he answered fairly monotone, most guardians do these days. "Hello Guardian Croft, its Guardian Petrov here" I said in a friendly tone, myself and Croft have

become quite close over the recent weeks, but none the less I was still nervous about telling him my proposal. Then I heard him laugh "oh hello Alberta how are you?" he asked

"yes I'm very thanks, and yourself?" "Yes I'm doing well thanks, so what do I owe this pleasure? Is it about Rosemarie Hathaway? Guardian Belikov? Or do you have a

suggestion about the strigoi attacks?" he asked.

Wait! Belikov? What's he got to do with it? I panicked slightly I understand why he thought of the other two but why Belikov? And so I tried tried to make myself sound cool and

collected when I next spoke, so Hans wouldn't know something was up.

"Yes I'm calling about how we could increase the security on the academy, may I ask why you thought I would be calling you up about Guardian Belikov?" I was curious why

would he ask about him? He is long gone, as far as I'm concerned, nothing to do with this academy, so why would Hans bring him up now? I seemed strange and out of the

ordinary, especially for him.

"Oh really? That's brilliant I knew you would come up with something, oh and it's nothing he just called a few hours ago and I was surprised to hear that he hadn't been told

about Miss Hathaway's graduation, that's all especially seems it's a few day's away" I was shocked to say the least. He knew that's why he had called me earlier, Hans had told

him and he wanted more information, perhaps maybe permission to come? I'm not sure, but I'm sure he knows he is not welcome to come after our little 'chat'.

"Alberta? Are you there?" Hans asked me

"Yes I am, sorry about that. This new proposal I have, I suggest we have all the novices classes cancelled, then have each novice pair up with a guardian and they can each

guard together, then each novice can have a one to one training session with their guardian two hours a day, so they can still keep up their fitness." I paused slightly "This way

we can keep up protection, have novices trained in being in a real life working environment and they don't miss out on any training sessions" I finished breathlessly.

I wanted to steer clear of any conversation about Belikov, I was going to sort this problem out on my own, I wasn't sure how yet, but I knew I wasn't going to involve anyone

because I couldn't risk them finding out about Rose and Belikov, for her sake not his.

Silence, that's what came after, and you could literally hear the wheels turning inside his head, but I just waited patiently, I knew no good came of rushing him.

After what seemed like five hours, but in reality was only about five minutes Hans said "I knew you were good Alberta but not this good. This is an excellent idea I will inform the

Queen as soon as possible, and I want you to start making the plans right away, as I'm sure the queen will not object, but I have no doubt she will want to fly you out to discuss

it in more detail later on" he said proudly.

"Yes thank you Croft but it was the work of my whole team not just myself but none the less I will start to prepare things and I will keep you informed, speak to you soon" I said

then hung up, not waiting for an answer.

This is so typical I'm on the verge of solving problems and then life throws another hurdle for me to jump, and I couldn't help but feel very agitated and angry.

Belikov he's really starting to get on my nerves, now I'm going to have to find a solution to this on my own as well as starting to plan the new guardian/novice pairings.

Ergh life is a serious bitch. But I have no time to wallow in self pity because right now I need to go and get an update from Guardian Celeste about Rose's graduation, after all it

is the day after tomorrow and so everything needs to be prepared. No in fact everything needs to be perfect, she deserves this after everything she's been through and there is

no way in hell that he is going to spoil this for her.

And so with that I left the office, hoping that I could find the strength to figure this all out, before it's too late.

I would not want to be in Belikov's shoes at the moment.


	9. Chapter 9

'Oh shit' I thought, as I was puking my guts up. Why is he here? Especially as my hearts starting to heal and I was getting over him.

'Oh god he's here!' I said angrily

I need to get out of here Rose Hathaway never runs but this is too much, a girl can only handle so much and I think I'm at my breaking point.

People were all gathering round me, wanting to help me but not wanting to go near the pile of sick on the floor and so they settled for standing around me watching.

This pissed me off.

What they're just going to stand there like headless chickens? Just watch me as my heart crumbles to pieces.

Typical they can take down a dozen strigoi but to watch a teenager throw up? Well that has them puzzled.

NO! I thought no way are they going to see me like this, for all they know, I'm sick, they don't have to see me breakdown and cry, which I'm on the verge of doing.

I need to get out; away before he comes over or before I breakdown, either way both of those are a disaster, I was determined I would not give in to him, he will not see what he has done to me.

I would not give him the satisfaction of letting him know that he has this affect on me.

So I used all my will power and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, stood up straight and pushed through the surrounding crowed and headed for my dorm, where I can

be alone, away from those stupid headless chickens.

As soon as I was out of sight I ran, I ran so fast I just needed to get away! From him, from my feelings and from everyone, I was becoming depressed again, I could feel it.

The growing feeling of loneliness came, he was here, and he came back, what to rub it in my face? He never loved me, he just wanted to do the impossible and get into Rose

Hathaway's pants, and like all guys their all ruled by their crotch, I was stupid to think he was any different.

I ran up the steps towards my room, taking two at a time, just needing to get there faster, to be alone, not bothering if anyone saw me, this was a normal sight .

This is what he put me down to, cowering in my room, wanting to be isolated because I just can't deal with these feelings; it's like an overload in my body, just ready to explode.

For the past few days these feelings were dormant, smoothed over by Lissa's kindness and understanding, but now that he's here, well they can't be covered up, no amount of

kindness or understanding can put my feeling's to rest, especially while he's here rubbing it in my face.

Once I reached my dorm I pushed my way in, and slammed my door in a hurry to get I locked. 'Maybe I shouldn't have come here, this will be the first place they look' I

thought, damn there you go again Hathaway; that should have been obvious but you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself, you mess up like you always do, no wonder he left

you.

I started walking round my room, still feeling keyed up from the recent events-this is most defiantly not how I imagined my graduation to be like, stuck in my room alone, and

on the verge of crying, oh well it's better than being out there with him, for that I was thankful for.

Oh god- the thought of him being out there makes my heart want to burst; I love him I can't say that I don't, as much as I wish it to be.

But at the same time, I hate him, he makes me angry the thought of him leaving me, with no much more than a note, and before you say anything it wasn't even a love note

saying he loved me and would be back soon. Nope.

He didn't even have the heart for that, instead it went along the lines of "Rose I'm leaving, and don't know when I'm coming back, this is wrong between us and so I want you to

move on and forget me" although I can't actually tell you what it says because I have Pyro burn it for me, the reminder for me was just too much at the time, but now I would do

anything to have that stupid note instead of him.

At the time I thought I could never forget him, but right now that's all I want, is to forget him all the pain he has given me I just want it to leave.

I want to be strong, defiant, cheeky, and stubborn like I use to be, but do you know what hurts the most? He broke my trust and he was the one person that I would absolutely

trust with my life, but that's not all, not only did he break my trust with him, I feel as if I can't trust anyone.

The pain is so bad I don't want to trust anyone because of the chance of anyone doing the same to me, the pain is just unbearable.

Unexpectedly I felt a huge wave of emotion from Lissa anger, fear, hate and sadness; it was so big I felt kind of dizzy from it.

"Oh shit where's Lissa?"

Damn I was so busy with my emotions that I didn't notice hers, and now she might be in trouble. "Great job Rose, you mess up again" I said to myself as I slipped into her head.

Wow! As I slipped into her head, the anger I felt radiating off her was immense, I've never felt anything like it, and I'm sure the people standing by could feel it, and to me they

all looked scared, and of a moroi? Well that's the first, especially seems they were all dhampire's.

"YOU!" Lissa shouted at... Dimitri. Wait Dimitri? What the hell have I missed? I thought

"You are unwelcome here, and I order you to leave. NOW" she said with so much power in her voice and she sounded so defiant, I'm honestly shocked I have never seen Lissa

like this, and by the look on Dimitri's face he wasn't expecting it either, I mean he had his guardian mask on but I could always see through it.

"Princess with all due respect you are a student here and cannot tell me when to leave, also I'm not here by choice, and I was asked to come here by Guardian Hans Croft, head

guardian at court".

'Wait? Who?' I thought 'he didn't come voluntary?' oh god, there goes my heart again, breaking just a little bit more, and I know I shouldn't be feeling this but I guess on some

level I wished that he had realised that he had made a mistake and came back, but he didn't.

He didn't want to see me; it was only his duty that made him.

However Lissa wasn't thrown back by this new information like me, she was fuming and well at the moment and I could feel the darkness coming on, she wanted answers.

The darkness had been creeping up so slowly and now it has gathered so much in her body, never before have I seen this amount it was scary, this was more than the amount

that she had when Jessie was torturing her.

This is loads of darkness, too much for me to just take like I normally do, and plus I'm already depressed and adding the darkness wouldn't be a good idea.

For Lissa to have this darkness it was dangerous, but for me to have it, well that would be lethal.

"I need to get down there" I said to myself, "before she hurts herself or anyone else" as I pulled out of her head, unlocked my door and launched myself in the direction of Lissa,

and no one was going to stop me, her safety comes before my feelings.

As I was running everything was a blur, colours, shapes, people... all a blur, nothing mattered, only Lissa.

I could feel through the bond that Lissa was becoming increasingly angry and just wouldn't give up, not until she defended my honour, which I was thankful for, but it didn't have

to be like this, not with the darkness controlling her.

The darkness was so strong it was now seeping into me, without my permission, this was dangerous, like a time bomb waiting to explode, and cause catastrophic damage.

If only I can reach there in time to warn people before both me and Lissa fly off the hook.

As I ran into the cafeteria I didn't slow down, not until I reached Lissa, which proved quite hard seems they had a crowd surrounding them, but me being Rose Hathaway wasn't

going to take no for an answer, I was getting through whether they liked it or not.

So I pushed, shoved and even kicked my way through the guardians to get to the centre of the crowd where I would find all the problems to my life.


	10. Chapter 10

Some of the guardians pushed back, as I made my way through to the centre of the circle, but once they saw who was pushing them, they quickly came to their senses and

moved.

So once I reached the centre of the circle, my anger couldn't help but spike.

I think this is mostly due to having the darkness seeping into me, because if I didn't I think I would most probably run out crying at the sight of him, but this thought angered

me more, why should I be reduced to such lows because of him?

Well the answer to that is that I shouldn't, but I still am, I just can't help but love him.

"You're a coward, a low life. Do you get kicks out of hurting my best friend hu? Is that why you're here? Because I tell u what I will be damned to let u anywhere near her. Over.

My. Dead. Body." She screamed as I entered the centre of the circle.

"Go to hell-"she stopped as if she sensed me there watching them, she slowly turned and looked at me. 'Oh my god' I thought shocked at the sight of her; I've never seen Lissa

like this!

Her face was flushed bright red with anger; her hair was a mess sticking out in many places much like a hay stack, but what scared me the most was her eyes were black.

Her eyes were black! I would presume that it is the darkness, but it didn't make it any less scary, to be honest now I understand why Dimitri was scared when I was in Lissa's

head, I would have probably run a mile by now if I was him, but this wasn't Lissa and she's not in the right frame of mind and I have to protect her, even if it is from herself.

And if that means I have to face Dimitri then so be it.

This wasn't the Lissa I knew, the fun, loving, caring person I knew, this was the darkness, and it wasn't her. What am I going to do? I questioned myself. It just feels like I'm

stuck between a rock and a hard place, I need to get Dimitri out of here, he just seems to be the problem to everything in my life, and I need him to go, actually no scratch that

I want him to go, we need time to recover both me and Lissa, but I know he won't leave, if anyone knows him like he knows himself it's me.

He was wearing his yeah-you-may-be-scary-but-I'm-badass face.

I sighed; sometimes he's just as stubborn as me thinking he can take on more than he can chew, and I know Lissa won't leave she wants to defend my honour.

So I made a snap decision to go with the more logical option and ask the non crazy person, to leave, but it isn't as easy as it sounds.

So sucking in the deepest breath possible, I turned to Dimitri.

I felt a big pang in my chest as I took in his features, he still had that long luxurious brown hair, and those brown eyes I love, but he looked a mess. He looks like he's lost

weight, and he has dark circles under his eyes.

Not that I care 'good' I thought he should be a mess, because that's what he has done to me. Yeah pay back's a bitch.

For the first time in my life this is the first time I've seen him look absolutely petrified, but I'm not sure who of, me or Lissa?

But like I said, he's stubborn and once he's set his mind to something he won't back down. But as I looked closely at him there was something else in his eye as well, he looked

sad, really sad, probably because he hasn't got his way so far.

I could feel through the bond, Lissa becoming more and more angered by the fact that she had promised Dimitri wouldn't see me, and here I was standing in front of him, and so

I was becoming increasingly angry, burning inside of me wanting to be released, but my brain knew better than to let it take control.

So I need to do something before this gets all out of hand, which would include both me and Lissa going off the hook.

So letting out the deep breath I had been holding in, I looked Dimitri directly in the eye, trying not to let the anger take control as I did as large amount were flowing through the

bond.

"you need to get out of here now" I said as calmly as I could considering the situation but my voice still had an edge, I was trying to control myself but it was becoming

increasingly difficult, and I could feel Lissa getting very agitated at the thought of me speaking to him.

This meant more darkness, more anger, and more tension.

Even after me telling him to leave, he just stood there staring at me wide eyed.

Okay well it was kinda awkward yeah no doubt I looked like something's just died on me, but does he really need to stare? Does he want me to feel bad?

I mean he has no right! No right what so ever, he left me! And now he just comes back and stares at me? No I'm not having it, what's he trying to do rub it in my face? Well I

will show him who's boss, no way will I be put in this situation again, and I will put him in his place.

By this time my hands were balled in fists, squeezing them as hard as I could, just trying to let out some anger, but it's not working. I was just too angry he needs to go now

before this all kicks off, but this angered me more because he wouldn't leave.

"NOW" I said darkly, why doesn't he read the situation? Can't he see Lissa's black eyes? Can't he tell that I have the darkness inside of me, well he should! He was with me after

what happened with Jesse he should notice. So much of a guardian he is.

"Rose, I need to talk to you" he said calmly, like nothing serious is happening.

Whoa! This was all it took for me to lose that little control I had. How dare he! He left; he can't just come back demanding to talk to me like nothing's happened.

The darkness began to enter my body fully, filling it up like a jug of juice. At this point I couldn't feel my heartbroken heart; the darkness had now filled up that void as the anger

consumed me.

I lunged at him giving him a massive right hook in the face, most probably breaking or dislocating his jaw. His face screwed up in pain but that didn't stop me, he should feel

pain like I did!

By this time Lissa was hitting, punching, and kicking Dimitri as we both just let the darkness control us.

Dimitri quickly recovered, but I was fast, angry, and heartbroken. He asked for this, he should have left when I told him to leave.

I then faked right, and went left kicking him in the gut. He then launched at me quickly trying to gain control of the situation but I moved quickly, but Lissa misreading the

situation jumped in front of me and elbowed Dimitri in 'the area'.

I smiled evilly, oh how I do love Lissa

Now you may be wondering how that took him down especially seems Lissa's a moroi but the darkness enhances our natural born powers, it takes the darkness part of your soul,

your very essence and enhances it.

It enhances it so much it's all you can think about, and that's what's happening here, on a massive scale.

Not that I cared, he deserved it.

Dimitri was now cowering on his knees covering his parts, and groaning in pain.

'Weak' I thought 'pathetic' he's meant to be a guardian and I've taken him down so easily, he looks so helpless there kneeling on the floor, but 'no mercy' I thought as I started

kicking him.

I thought of him as a punching bag, just kicking and kicking trying to release my anger, but that was going to be hard considering there was lots of darkness, so I just continued

to kick him.

Lissa started catching my drift and kicked Dimitri with me, any place we could.

Any grunt or moan of pain would only spar us on even more, then when he started to bleed, I felt a little satisfaction, knowing he was in pain like I was. Although I consider

emotional pain worse than physical because it's a battle with a part of yourself, not another person.

But my satisfaction was short lived because I then felt multiple arms wrap around me pulling me away from the bleeding body on the floor, and the more I struggled against the

hands the more I felt a resultant force pulling me back, but no way was that going to stop me from getting my revenge.

I became more forceful but more guardians pilled on me. I guess they finally snapped out of their shocked trance to actually do something about the situation, but it's too late

the damage is done.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lissa being held back by three guardians, while some other guardians were tending to Dimitri's broken body and on the phone, most probably

calling for back up.

My gaze suddenly snapped up from Dimitri's body when I was being pushed out of the room, quite roughly as well I might add. I was about to fight back against them when I felt

Lissa's emotions.

She wasn't angry anymore; she was sad, nervous, shocked, disgusted and lonely, and it was quite obvious she needed someone there with her.

She needed me, the real me. Not crazy darkness Rose, nice, caring, and protective Rose.

So with the help of Lissa, I tried so hard to push these emotions out of me, draining the darkness out of my body.

Using as much will power as I had, and it used a lot of my energy but I finally started to feel myself again as I felt the darkness leave my body, taking the crazy anger with it,

and I was just left shell shocked.

"Oh God!" I thought "what have I done" I started to shake uncontrollably I'm such a stupid idiot! Why did I let the darkness get the best of me? I was just meant to get Lissa

away then I could help her deal with it... Lissa!

I started to panic, she needed me, but my panic died down when I turned my head to see Lissa on my right trying to be brave and help me but she just looked like a lonely, lost

child.

I just wanted to hug her and tell her she will be alright, that I would protect her and never let anything bad happen to her, but I couldn't really make that promise seems I can't

protect her from herself.

As I made my move to go hug Lissa the guardian behind me refuse to let me out of his death grip to comfort my best friend.

But even better two guardians stepped between me and Lissa, separating us fully.

Now this started to anger me, why should they keep me away from her she's my best friend? But then it occurred to me that we just went all crazy, and wild in there, of course

their going to think I'm a danger to her, no doubt they will want to put me in a mental institution, because no person in their right mind would do what we just did.

But then again we weren't in our right minds.

I turned my head to see a guardian I didn't know holding me, and he looked pretty strong so I wasn't going to mess with him, well I wasn't going to mess with anyone, that

wouldn't do any good to my reputation or anyone's health.

So instead I just turned around and said "its okay guardian, I'm under control now, I'm no threat to Lissa or anyone else. I promise" I said calmly, and to be honest I felt

exhausted to argue, I just hope he will let go.

However much to my dismay he didn't. I sighed feeling disappointed, and sagged in defeat, I wasn't going to cause any more trouble, and I just hope Dimitri is alright.

Dimitri, I felt a huge pang of guilt. I can't believe we did that to him, and oh god the memory of his body lying on the floor all helpless, I just couldn't stop the tears that were

flowing freely from my eyes.

I just beat the living shit out the love of my life, and he could possibly die for all I know; now the pain from that was way worse than having the pain of a broken heart.

He was right to leave me; I just proved that by my actions, he shouldn't have come back I destined to ruin people's lives. Even my own.

I need to make sure he's alright; I won't be able to live knowing I killed him.

All of the sudden I felt Lissa using her magic through the bond; I started to panic oh god I don't want to go back to crazy Rose "please Lissa. Stop" I thought.

The darkness is enough to handle for a lifetime.

The guardian behind me must have noticed my uneasiness because he tightened his grip on me, and although his grip hurt, I was glad to have someone keeping me from doing

anything crazy, shame their guardian instincts didn't kick in when it was most important.

But a second later the two guardians that were separating me from Lissa stepped apart to reveal Lissa standing between them looking all messy and sad. "Let go" she said to the

guardian behind me, she said it forcefully, and it didn't matter that her hair was messed up, or that her clothes were ripped; at that second she looked like a princess.

At first the guardian hesitated, trying to resist the compulsion but in the end he let go of me and stepped aside, allowing me to step out of his grip.

I ran up to Lissa and hugged her so tightly "I'm sorry Rose I don't know what got over me, I'm so stupid I'm so sorry" she said crying into my shoulder. "Shh Liss it wasn't your

fault it was the darkness, don't blame yourself" I said comforting her

"If anyone is to blame it's me, I should have protected you" I said truthfully, oh god I'm going to make a crap guardian I can't even protect my future charge, and that's if they

don't fire me for the events that just happened first.

"Rose it wasn't your fault I let the dark-" I cut her off "Lissa we can talk about this later first we need to see if Dimitri is okay, maybe you can heal him?" I asked sadly, I'm not

sure I could stand to see what I have done to the love of my life.

"Yes of course I will heal him!" she said forcefully "now come on lets go, before it's too late" she said as she tugged on my arm and we walked out of the corridor and towards

the med clinic, where I will have to face up to my consequences.

This wasn't the best start to my guardian carer.

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope you like it, i very much enjoyed writing it, I made this chapter quite long to make up for the shorter chapter before :) so let me know what you think x<strong>

**Charlotte x**


	11. Chapter 11

As we walked across the quad towards the med clinic, both Lissa and I didn't talk. I think we were both thinking about the consequences to our actions, and just hoping that

Dimitri was okay, but I couldn't help but feel this is my entire fault, if only I had dealt with the darkness better, or if I had just dragged Lissa away from the situation before it led

to what we have now.

I really didn't mean to hurt Dimitri; I mean how can I after all we have been through?

But I was just so angry, it's hard to hold in, but the darkness just magnified it by one-hundred I lost it, I lost me and turned into this monster. If anything happens to Dimitri I

will never forgive myself, I wouldn't be able to live in a world where he doesn't exist, if anyone should die, it's me... I'm a horrible person. I just hope that if he does survive that

he will forgive me, and if not I won't stop trying till he does.

As we moved closer to the med clinic the ground went from the cool crisp grass to the cold hard pavement leading up to the clinic, and the lights started to shine through the

darkness we were currently walking in.

Both Lissa and I weren't talking, as we were both content in walking in silence, trying to deal with the overwhelming gilt that racked through our bodies, and I just know Lissa is

blaming herself, even though she's blocked the bond I just know Lissa is blaming herself because in a lot of ways she's just like me.

We came to a halt at the doors of the clinic as a guardian stepped in front of us blocking our entry. I took a deep breath, I will not get angry it will do no good I said to myself

trying to gain control of the worry, anger, frustration of this situation that we before me.

"Hello Guardian Tan" I said nodding my head towards him in a professional manner, "Hello Miss Hathaway, I must say I'm surprised to see you here after the recent events, but I

must say you're not aloud entry to the building while Guardian Belikov is here and so you need to return to your dorm and you will be contacted in all due time" is said using the

don't-you-try-anything-with-me-tone.

"I appreciate that you believe that I have come here to hurt Belikov some more however that is not my intention, however you do not understand the truth behind the situation,

and I do not expect you to, but I would just like to ask this favour of allowing us in, in means to help Belikov" I said with a slight smile on my face so he could see I was normal

Rose, not crazy Rose.

"Oh I think I have enough information, the fact that you attacked Belikov for no apparent reason is enough for me not to allow you in here, now if you are refusing to leave then

we can have you taken to a jail cell to cool off. Make your choice Hathaway"

Hmmm this is harder than expected he wasn't going to budge, okay think about it Hathaway, we only need to get Lissa in there to do the healing, maybe they might allow it, I

mean after all it's in Dimitri's benefit and she's a moroi she wouldn't be able to do much.

I was thankful that Lissa was staying quite during this time; I didn't want to be worrying about her and what she would say as well.

"Guardian Tan can I please ask that you only allow Lissa in and not me? It's only I feel it would be in Guardian Belikov's best interest to allow her to heal him and fully recover" I

said slightly hopeful that maybe they might allow it, that's if Dimitri will allow her near him.

"Rose-I don't think-""please, I know it might not seem it after today but, I care about Dimitri a lot and I just want to make sure he is okay, It would kill me if... if he were to be

worse off" I stuttered towards the end of the sentence, just the thought of anything happing to Dimitri is enough to make my hear clench. "I'm sorry Rose no can do, I'm under

strict orders not to allow you or Princess Vasilisa anywhere near him, and if you cause a scene you will both be escorted away. Sorry Rose it's my job."

I huffed, appearing to give up, but Rose Hathaway doesn't give up, we will get into his room even if it takes all night.

I Turned to Lissa "come on Liss lets go, we will just have to hope for the best" I said faking sadness and hoping she would understand and catch on to my plan, but through the

bond I could feel her shock and confusion as to why I'm 'giving up'.

"But Rose... Dimitri" she said quietly moaning, but instead of saying anything more I just grabbed her arm and pulled her away, before she could start making a scene and we

would both end up in jail.

Once we were farther enough away from Guardia Tan I let go of Lissa but making sure she was still close to me, so I wouldn't have to speak these next words too loudly "Liss I'm

not giving up, when have you ever known me to give up?"

once I spoke these words she seemed to physically relax a bit more "so what are we going to do then?" she asked me still in hushed whispers "Liss you know I would never ask

you to do something unless we really needed it, don't you? Well I need you to go up to Guardian Tan and ask him what room Dimitri is in, using your compulsion and Liss... I

won't be able to come; Guardian Tan will get suspicious and be on his guard. You will need to go on your own" I said, and as soon as the words left my mouth I felt incredibly

guilty.

I never wanted to put her in this sort of situation but I needed to know Dimitri will be okay.

"Sure I can do that, easy peasy" she said sounding confidant, but I could just tell that she was putting on a bravado, but I could tell that through the bond that she was nervous

and scared "Lissa I'm sorry we can find ano-""no" she interrupts me "I'm going to do this, for you and for Dimitri" she said while storming off on her own towards the clinic and

Guardian Tan full of determination.

Now I guess all I can do is wait.

I didn't bother looking through the bond to see what happens I would know if she was in trouble, and to be honest I don't like Lissa using compulsion on anyone as it takes away

their free will, but in this situation it was necessary, but that doesn't mean I want to watch her do it, so I just stood there in the darkness of the trees waiting for my best friend

to come back.

After what seemed like forever, but was probably only about fifteen-twenty minutes Lissa returned looking rather proud of herself. "Room 46B, Floor 3" she said smiling and I

couldn't help but feel happy that we were getting somewhere now, but the mission was far from complete so I didn't let my hopes get too high and so I started to plan how we're

going to get a Moroi up a three story building without hurting herself, of course I had plenty of experience scaling the walls of buildings, but Lissa's experience was close to zero,

and that was going to make this mission a lot harder, but as I said before Rose Hathaway never gives up, especially when Dimitri's life could count on it.

First of all we calculated where abouts the room was located on the outer building and which window it was, and with my experience with the clinic I could find my way thorough

it blindfolded, so this part wasn't much of a challenge for me.

Now luckily as we stared at the window and tried to figure out a way to get us up there, I noticed that hiding behind a bunch of vines stuck to the side of the wall was a white

drain pipe going vertically to the top of the building which was barely visible, the wheels started turning in my head as I was creating a plan this could be useful, I thought, I

could scale this easily, but what about Lissa? I need her up there but cannot risk having her fall from a three story building.

After some careful thinking, I sent Lissa to go get some rope while I scooped out the area, looking for any guards; I mean you gotta know what you're working with right? It's

like the number one rule in the guardian handbook, plan carefully.

So after about twenty minutes Lissa came running back with a rolled up piece of rope in her hand looking like she was going to pass out from all the running. Brilliant!

This rope is exactly what we needed; it was strong and tough and didn't look like it was going to snap with the weight of a moroi hanging off it.

I then went and wrapped the rope around Lissa's waist and around her shoulders and armpits then tied it tightly and securely to make sure she wouldn't slip out of it.

"Lissa we're going to scale the building using that drain pipe. Now the rope I have tied around you I will also tie around me in a similar way, that was if you suddenly lose your

footing or grip you won't fall" I said deadly seriously in my guardian voice, it was either that or break down crying at the whole messed up situation.

"okay Rose I trust you I think we can do this" she said bravely but oh god when she said this relief flooded through me I'm so scared for Dimitri's life but here I am putting

Lissa's life in danger as well, god I'm a terrible guardian, but this is something I have to do and I'm glad my best friend is here beside me.

I gave Lissa a hug and resisted the temptation to cry. Then we made our way to the bottom of the building where we were going to start climbing up.

The climb up was hard for Lissa and I took the majority of her weight while we were climbing up, but we steadily made our way to the window, making sure that we didn't alert

any guardians that we were there, which was quite hard seeming as Lissa couldn't stop panting.

As we neared the window the soft white curtains were shut, but were flowing in the wind from the open window. Ca-ching! I thought just our luck! Now we just need to climb in.

I carefully put one foot on the window frame and used it as a balance while I carefully and quietly jumped into the room, I then turning around used all my strength to heave

Lissa up.

When Lissa was climbing in, she didn't do it quite as quietly or gracefully as I did but we were quiet enough not to alert the guardians that we're here.

Taking a deep breath I turned around and moved the curtains out of the way to see Dimitri lying in the hospital ventilator, he had a drip in him and his face was a white as a

ghost.

"Oh God" I whispered he looks terrible "I can't believe we did this to him" I said as I started to cry, I'm such a horrible person, how could I put the love of my life in a hospital

bed looking as bad as that, I mean I was angry at him but didn't deserve this, no one did.

"No we didn't do this, it wasn't us, it was the darkness, Rose now we need to do this before anyone comes" Lissa said, and she was right I just need to tell Dimitri that, I mean

I'm sure he knows it was the darkness, I mean for one Lissa's eyes were black, which reminds me I need to tell her about that afterwards and for second Dimitri just knows when

it's the darkness because he knows me, and I'm sure he knows that it wasn't me.

Lissa steadily made her way towards Dimitri, and carefully put her hand on him, like she was afraid to break him, then I felt the flow of her magic which makes me feel all warm

and tingly. I started to relax knowing that Lissa's healing Dimitri and he will be fine.

While Lissa was healing Dimitri I had a look at his medical files, hanging off the end of his bed, I gasped he had 4 broken ribs, a broken nose, three broken fingers, concussion, a

black eye, as well as all the bruises and scratches that covered his body.

I shut my eyes for a minute willing myself not to cry, I needed to be strong for Lissa, she will be very weak after this and she needs me to be strong, like I always am.

I turned to look at her and Dimitri and he looked so much better, the colour had returned to his cheeks and the bruises he had were gone.

But Lissa on the other hand looked terrible, she was pale and could barely keep herself sat up right, but she was still fighting to heal Dimitri, but at this point I had to stop her, I

need her to be able to climb back out of that window, so I carefully went over to her and put my hand on her shoulder, and it was if I just slapped her round the face because her

head just shot up in surprise.

"Lissa, we need you fit and healthy too, come on he looks a whole lot better, but we need to go, the longer we stay the more likely we are to get caught" I said softly.

Lissa then nodded and went to put the rope back on her again ready for climbing out of the window again. While she was doing this I grabbed the pen and paper on the bed side

table and scribbled a message for Dimitri and went and gave him a kiss on the forehead, and as I did the heart monitor went of the scale. I smiled, he knew we were here "I love

you Dimitri, don't ever forget that" I whispered to him.

Then made my way to Lissa where we climbed out of the window and ran to our dorms before we got caught.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay so guys I don't normally write authors notes on my chapters but this is an exception, I know my upates recently have been irregular, that is because I'm in the middle of my GCSE's and so I have less time for writing, but my last exam is on the 24th of June so after that updates should be more regualr. Also I know some of you have been confused about the recent events, but I needed it to be like that, however I have written this next chapter in Dimitri's point of view so you can understand a little more about what's going through Dimitri's head the past few months, and you can see the differnt relationships the characters have with eachother.**

**Please if you don't understand anything just ask and iIwill try and make it clear, either by PM or in the next chapter.**

**Thanks for all the reviews I really appreciate them, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's the longest so far! almost 4000 words! hahah**

**Charlotte xx**

* * *

><p><span>Dimitri's Point Of View:<span>

I sat happily in my kitchen laughing and smiling at the wonderful jokes and conversations I was having with my family. Viktoria had just joked about beating up

anybody that tried to 'mess' with her, and I couldn't help but laugh she reminded me so much of Rose, forceful, stubborn but also loyal and caring. I sighed, my heart

just sinks thinking of Rose she would fit in so well here with my family, but I just couldn't take her away from her dream she was destined to be a great guardian,

why would she want to be with me?

I can't believe that I was able to walk away from her, and stay away. I would have thought that by now I would have gone back begging for her forgiveness, but I

was staying away for her own good, and that's the only thing that keeps me going. Just because I'm away from her, it doesn't have an impact on the effect she has

on me, every night my last thought is of her, likewise she is my first thought of the day, and she clouds my mind and heart at all hours.

All of my family know about Rose, from the many letters and e-mails I have sent them, but none of them dare question me on it, I guess they could just tell it was a

subject I wasn't willing to talk about. I sometimes receive strange, knowing looks from Babushka, which kind of gives me the creeps, but I just ignore her as much as

I can. I don't want to be dragged into a conversation that I do not intend to speak about.

I sigh... I'm starting to feel a pull on my heart strings. I have been away from Rose for almost a month now, and I really want to see her, but I just have to settle

from hearing reports of her from Guardian Hans. Yes you may believe it to be strange getting reports of Hans, well his name's actually Jonathan, but he was a good

friend while I was training at my academy, he often visited before he became head guardian. So when I called him up the night I left Rose, crying and shamefully I

told him all about Rose and the way I left her, with no more than a note. I knew he wouldn't judge me, and he comforted me in my time of need. So now every two

weeks he receives reports on all students at St. Vladimir's, then passes the report on Rose to me. He's been a very good friend looking after me, and even breaking

the rules for me. I have much to thank him for.

I haven't spoken to Alberta since the night I left, when I had informed her I would be leaving the academy, well I couldn't believe her reaction, she was angry! Wait

no she was fuming! She said she couldn't believe I was doing this to Rose, which lead me to believe she knew about our relationship, although I didn't question her

on it because I didn't want to bring up any suspicions, because she could have just been talking about leaving Rose so close to graduation, and if so that would ruin

Rose's chances of becoming Vasilisa Guardian, and that is what I was trying to avoid by leaving.

I so badly wanted to call Alberta and ask about Rose, but I fear because of her reaction of me leaving, that she wouldn't talk to me about Rose. Oh god, why did

things have to be so messed up? I wish I could just live the rest of my life with Rose and not have to worry about what people think, or what it will do to our

reputations, but life's a bitch 'ey?

So for a few weeks my life continued relatively normal, just joking around and just being with my family, but I could never relax, not knowing whether Rose is okay

or not, it's killing me. So about I decided about a month and a half after leaving Rose, to call up Alberta and ask how she's doing.

But oh boy was that a mistake! And basically turned round and told me that because I was no longer there, that I had no right to know the well being of Rose AND

she even went as far as saying that I was bad for Rose "Miss Hathaway will be fine as long as you stay away" she had said, and oh God did that hurt! It was like she

was pulling away pieces of my heart with every word she said. _Roza_ was in bad shape, and I hated knowing I was the cause of it, and that I wasn't there to help her,

nor was I allowed to return to the academy to see her.

That night I basically cried myself to sleep, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay away for much longer, I missed her and she missed me, so why should I try and

stay away, when I know in the end we will return to each other?

This is what led me to my decision to call Hans for one last time.

My hands were sweating like mad, partly because of what I was about to ask, and partly because of the thought of seeing Roza again.

"Guardian Hans here" he answered on the second ring, "hey John, It's Dimitri" I said, starting off slow, not wanting to jump straight into things. "Ahh Dimitri, how are

you? I thought you knew the reports don't come in until Friday, and today's Wednesday" he said, I could hear the confusion in his voice, on why I was calling him in

the middle of the week, "I'm not too good John, I don't know how much more I can go on without her, and to make it worse I called Alberta yesterday and she told

me Rose wasn't doing too well, and she told me to stay away" I let out a sob, this was the only person I could talk to freely about Rose, he knew everything about our

relationship, and It surprised me that I wasn't suspended from my Guardian duties because of it, but then again what are friends for? "but I don't think I can, I need

her, Please John help me" I cried, whispering the last part of the sentence, then I just cried my heart out down the phone, the true raw pain I was feeling was now

emerging, and it was painful! I never knew I could feel this way about anyone, but I love her so much it hurts to be away from her, and I will do anything to get back

to her. "What are you supposing I do then Dimitri? I know how much you love her, and I feel for you, I really do, but I don't know what you're asking" "please" I said

painfully "just get me back there, I can't stand it any longer" there was a silence for a moment, while I suppose John was thinking about his options.

"Well Belikov, I wasn't going to tell you this until Friday but I suppose I can tell you now. Rose is set to graduate early, and well as her old mentor, I believe you have

a right to be at her graduation ceremony" he said, then paused slightly, I suppose to let me take in the information "And well Belikov this isn't something I should be

telling you, but I have been talking to Petrov recently and well she has informed me of a new plan to increase security at the academy, now I have spoken to the

queen, and this will basically be a test run on the school, if it succeeds then we have the plan put in to place at every academy around the world, but for this plan we

are going to need extra guardians to be with each of the students, and so we are going to have to recruit more guardians". I listened carefully, and I couldn't help but

have my spirits rose from what he was saying, it sounded too good to be true. "Dimitri you are one of my closest friends and it hurts to see you so torn up inside, and

so this once I will make an exception and bend the rules, if you want to be with Rose so badly I will transfer you back to the academy, and seems you do not have a

charge there will be no suspicions brought up to as to why you are returning".

After he said this, I couldn't help the sobs that racked my body, but this time it was in happiness, I was going to see Roza again! "Thank... Thank you so much John, I

don't know how I will ever thank you! So when will the transfer take place? I mean the sooner the better, maybe I could be there for her graduation? And how will

you explain this to Alberta? Because I know she defiantly doesn't want me back" I asked in one big long speech. "Well Dimitri, there's not much she can do, I'm head

guardian and what I say goes, and yes Rose's graduation will happen this Sunday, and so I will arrange you a flight for tomorrow morning, which will get you there

Saturday night, so you will be there for her graduation. And well as for thanking me, just go back and never let her go Dimitri, she has to be special to have this

effect from you, so to see you happy will be enough of a payment, now I must go, but start packing now, and I will e-mail over you the arrangements for the flight,

and I will inform Alberta, goodbye Dimitri" he said then hung up the phone.

I couldn't believe the news! I was going to see Roza, and she was graduating early, I'm so proud of her! I know Hans said to start packing straight away, but I

couldn't hold in my happiness, and packing up my cloths wouldn't express my happiness, and so instead I ran downstairs as fast as I could and into the living room,

where my family was sitting. I ran up to mama and kissed her on her forehead, then cheeks, then moved on to Viktoria and repeated it and I repeated this on

everyone in the room. Then once I finished that, I went to run up stairs and pack, but not before I turned around and said to all of my shocked family "I'm going back

to Roza" I said smiling like a goof then ran back upstairs like a little school boy would do on Christmas day.

It took me little time to pack as I had little amount of clothing. What surprised me was that Hans was able to book me on a flight the same night, and I arrived at the

academy Saturday night so I was able to be there for Roza's graduation. Just knowing she was in the same academy as me made me all giddy inside, I never knew a

girl could have this effect on me, but then again I've never met a firl like Rose.

Once I came off the plane, I was greeted by Guardian Celeste who informed me that I would have the same room as I did before, and that my guardian schedule was

in my room. Hmm I suppose Alberta wasn't too happy with me then if, she didn't come and greet me herself when I came off the plane, but this did little to dampen

my mood.

I collected my bags quickly and went to my room, soon to be asleep, and see my Rose the next day, and that night I slept happily knowing I would see Rose the next

day.

The next day came quickly, and I had the best night sleep I've had in a month and a half. I arose early; too anxious to see Rose, so I showered and put on some of

that aftershave I know Rose loves then dressed into my suit, and then I made my way down to the guardian's event room, where Rose's graduation was being held.

No one asked any questions as to why I was here, which I was thankful for, but then again I was her mentor. While they were collecting Rose, I just stood quietly at

the back, nervously waiting her arrival. Up until now I never really thought about what Rose's reaction to seeing me would be, I was too preoccupied at the thought of

seeing her, but now I don't really know what to expect, but whatever she does I know it will be dramatic, Roza wouldn't have it any other way.

Suddenly the big medieval doors opened to reveal Alberta, and Rose. Alberta looked kind of smug, along with happiness and pride, and well Rose I don't have any

words to describe how she looked, or how I felt just as she entered the room. Rose wore rather casual clothes which consisted of pale coloured skinny jeans, and

white top with lace up near her cleavage, the top also clung to her curves perfectly, she then had a grey and white cardigan her. She looked absolutely beautiful.

Although the casual clothes came as a surprise, Rose's face also held a look of surprise which led me to believe that she hadn't been told about this graduation.

When Rose entered the room my heart swelled as my love for her increased, there was no doubt in my mind that I love her and I'm going to do anything to put it

right again.

The Graduation continued as normal, and throughout the ceremony I couldn't take my eyes off Rose. The noise of Alberta and other guardians speaking were just

background noise, it was if I had zoomed off into my own world and all I could focus on was Rose, but one thing I was disappointed at was that she didn't sense my

eyes on her, because it had always been that way before I had left. I could always feel her eyes on me because I got a tingly sensation spread over my body, just

anticipating her touch.

Suddenly a loud amount of clapping startled me from my little world, and I clapped as well.

I looked up at Rose to see Lissa tackle her to the ground, and I could visibly see the connection between them had grown, as Rose smiled happily at Lissa. I sighed,

I'm glad she had someone when I wasn't here.

I just stood at the back of the room watching Rose receive all the congratulations from people. I wasn't sure how I was going to go about speaking to her, so I just

watched her.

Well that was until I felt someone's eyes on me, and it wasn't the tingly feeling I got with Rose, so I turned to see who was looking at me. Now I can say I was

shocked to see sweet Vasilisa staring daggers at me, and oh man if looks could kill, I think I would already be buried six feet under. Vasilisa came storming towards

me "what are you doing here?" she said in an angrily whisper, probably not wanting to alert Rose that I'm here, but I don't think that worked, because I saw out of

the corner of my eye Rose's head snap up, then scan the crowd for a Vasilisa, and have her eyes land on me. I swear when she looked at me my heart skipped a

beat, but what I didn't expect was to have her throw up. I then automatically took a step towards her, wanting to help her, however in the process I was stopped by

Vasilisa "Erm, no way are you going anywhere near here Guardian Belikov" she said forcefully, and to be honest I was quite shocked by her tone, sweet, innocent

Vasilisa wouldn't act like this, unless... she knows about me and Rose. Oh well crap, I'm not quite sure how this is going to play out, but nothing was going to stop me

from seeing Roza.

So instead of speaking, I just proceeded to walk forward to the door where Rose when running through. However I was then stopped again by the ever persistent

Vasilisa "I said you're not going anywhere near her Belikov, was that not clear enough?" she asked patronisingly again, I carried on walking forward after Rose, but

was then once again stopped by Lissa "YOU!" she shouted "You are unwelcome here, and I order you to leave. NOW" she shouted, which gained the attention of

many guardians in the room, including Rose's mum, which no doubt I will have to explain this to her afterwards.

Now it became quite clear that Lissa wasn't going to let me pass without a type of explanation, but I owe her nothing, so I just settled for saying "Princess with all

due respect you are a student here and cannot tell me when to leave, also I'm not here by choice, and I was asked to come here by Guardian Hans Croft, head

guardian at court" okay well obviously that was a lie, but I'm not about to announce my undying love for Rose in front of Vasilisa and practically every Guardian at

this school. However Vasilisa didn't like this and her eyes visibly darkened, well actually they were black! And it was scary; I wasn't quite sure how to react, but

before I had any chance to comprehend what was happening she started shouting random insults and threats at me "You're a coward, a low life. Do you get kicks out

of hurting my best friend hu? Is that why you're here? Because I tell u what I will be damned to let u anywhere near her. Over. My. Dead. Body." She screamed at

me, and then she went on to say more insults but suddenly stopped, when Rose appeared from the circle that had appeared around us.

I wondered why the Guardians aren't stopping Vasilisa, but Rose's face confirmed it all, they were scared. Of Lissa. I mean you could feel the anger radiating off her,

not to mention her eyes are black! It's probably the darkness...Wait! The darkness! That means it's going to be seeping into Rose, oh no this isn't good.

I turned my gaze to Rose, to see her visible fighting the effects of the darkness then she said "you need to leave now" she said as calmly as she could, but I could tell

she was struggling with the darkness. Now the most logical thing to do would leave, especially as I saw how this ended last time, wait no it ended well, but she was

rather dangerous. But me being me, I stayed, I needed her to know I'm sorry "Rose I need to talk to you" I said, just wanting her to understand, why things have

turned out like this, but nope that was a bad move.

Next thing I know Rose is charging at me, and her eyes are now as back as Vasilisa's, I tried to defend myself, but I didn't want to hurt her, especially knowing this

wasn't her it was the darkness. But next thing I know I'm kneed in my 'area' then I feel myself being kicked and punched until I pass out into the blackness.

The next thing I know is I'm feeling extremely groggy and disorientated, last thing I remember is Rose launching herself at me inside the Guardians even room.

Suddenly, I start to feel a spread of warmth and happiness spread through me. Hmm this is strange I thought, I've never felt this feeling before. For a few minutes I

contemplated on what this new feeling could be, perhaps I'm dead? Wait I couldn't be because I still felt pain, although the pain was starting to go. It wasn't until I

heard voices that I finally understood what was happening. "Lissa, we need you fit and healthy too, come on he looks a whole lot better, but we need to go, the

longer we stay the more likely we are to get caught". Realisation finally dawned on me, Vasilisa was healing me, now I'm quite surprised they actually snuck in here

to heal me, I thought they hated me? Ah well I'm glad they did because I felt a whole lot better.

I then heard Vasilisa move away from me and start to fiddle with something, while Rose came near me and started doing something else, I knew it was Rose by me

because I can always recognise her strawberry shampoo anywhere. Rose then placed something on the bedside table although I can't see what it is because my eyes

are closed.

It's only when Rose came very close that her strawberry shampoo was very strong, and she said "I love you Dimitri, don't ever forget that" OH MY GOD! She still

loves me! Now that made my heart swell, and I know from now on I really do believe that we could work through this.

After my encounter with Rose, I couldn't let myself fall asleep, I was too hyped up at the thought of me and Rose. At this point in time I didn't care that she or Lissa

just hurt me, because I know that wasn't them, so it's easily forgotten.

I sighed as I opened my eyes to the bright room around me, from the look outside the sun was high in the sky, so everyone would be asleep this time at night. So I

let my eyes just scan around the room that I knew Rose was in earlier today. After being away from her for so long, just the thought of her coming in close contact

with me made my heart beat twice as fast.

As my eyes scanned around the room, they landed on a folded piece of paper on my bedside table. Scribbled on the front of it said _'comrade' _I smiled, she wrote me

a note. I then unfolded the note to read what's inside

'_comrade, things were never meant to turn out like this, I'm so sorry, come by and talk when and if you feel up to it, of course I will understand if you don't '_

Ah it's from Rose, short and sweet, but I can tell from the note she feels incredibly guilty about earlier events, and after what she said to me when she thought I was

unconscious I know she still loves me.

It didn't take me too long to decide what to do about this; I know she loves me, just as I love her, she said I could come by and talk, so that's what I'm going to do. I

don't care that it's the middle of the vampire night, I love her she loves me and so if she feels the same way I do she would want to see me at any time at night.

So I got dressed into my earlier suit and exited the door, to find the woman I love.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys yes I am alive :) I know it's been forever since I've last updated and I'm sorry about that. Life has been really hectic. Anyway a few of you didn't like the other **

**chapter 13 that I posted so I've re-written if for you guys. I don't know when I will next be able to update, like I said life is hectic but enjoy :) **

* * *

><p>After sneaking out of the medical clinic, I escorted Lissa back to her dorm, because she didn't look that healthy after all that healing so it was the least I could do.<p>

Overall I think my mood has improved dramatically, and one thing is for sure, Dimitri won't die, and that was something defiantly to be happy about, even if he does end up

hating me, and even though that would kill me it's still better than him being dead.

Once Lissa was safely in her room asleep, I started to wander around campus, I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to sleep after today's events, so I needed to find something to

focus my mind on, instead of Dimitri's bloody and battered body. Oh god... It makes my heart sink, just thinking about it. The strong, loving, caring, man I knew was lying in

that hospital bed teetering on the brink of death because of me! I'm such a horrible person

So I just ended up walking around campus, I enjoyed the sun. I never really got to see it much because of having to stick to a vampire schedule to care for Lissa. I sigh. Lissa, I

know I shouldn't feel resentful towards her, but I can't help it, it's because of the darkness seeps into me, it's because of her I can't be with Dimitri, and it's because of her I

could quite possibly die before I'm the age of twenty! Everything is because of her! And this stupid bond as well! I mean like I really want to see and feel her getting hot and

heavy with Christian. I sigh again, I know what's happening, and it's the darkness again! For Lissa healing Dimitri, and now I have to pay the price. Like always!

I can feel this sudden burn to punch something, or someone, just needing to vent out this darkness somehow.

So this is when I find myself sprinting off towards the gym, trying to find that release. Faster and faster I kept pushing myself, I can't get there quick enough. Once there I slam

the doors open and run to the first thing I see I can punch. A punching bag.

Not bothering to put gloves on, I punch and kick the thing until it feels as bad as I do, and still by then it couldn't feel the pain and anguish I'm going through. No one does. The

emotional pain hurts so much, far more than the physical pain I'm receiving from punching this thing without any gloves on.

Now I know why Lissa use to cut herself, it's the physical pain that distracts from the emotional pain, and at this moment in time, I couldn't distract myself enough.

Even though the punching bag was smashed to pieces, it wasn't enough to block out the pain and the thoughts. So I moved on to a practise dummy, to beat the living daylights

out of it.

I'm never going to let anyone get that close to me ever again, all it does is bring pain and misery. So from now on I vowel to myself to be the best that I can be, I'm going to be

the best guardian the world has ever seen. I'm going to be better than the famous Jannine Hathaway, I'm going to be so bad ass that I will put her to shame and then maybe

she will be proud of me, but I highly doubt that she's top far stuck up her own ass. But most importantly I'm going to be better than Dimitri Belikov, I'm going to be so strong

that he won't ever be able to hurt me ever again.

Finally after however long it was I was in the gym, I felt the darkness leave my body. And oh boy did I hurt? My muscles hurt, and felt strained, which was probably from not

warming up, I felt dizzy from all the exercise and well my hands hurt like a bitch! My whole body was shaking from the ordeal, and so I did the best thing to do in them

situations. I cried. I cried so hard, I just let all the pain and suffering I feel out as I collapsed on to my hands and knees. Then I threw up, again.

So here I am lying on the floor in the middle of the gym, my body's shaking, my hands are bleeding, and I'm throwing up. Great. I think this is how my life is going to turn out,

always an uphill struggle; I'm just not sure if it's worth struggling for. And just when I thought things can't get any worse, the gym doors slam open, making a huge bang in the

process, and even then I can't find the strength to look up at the intruder.

"Rose?" the sweet Russian accent asks as he makes his way over to me, before I could say anything, he already had me in his arms, whispering sweet nothings in Russian to me.

And I know I vowed to stay away from him, but at this point I don't care. I can't always be other people's rocks, I do need a rock of my own, to have a shoulder to cry on, or to

tell me everything's going to be alright when it's not, and here is my rock. Dimitri, at this point I don't care that he left me, or that only a few hours ago me and Lissa beat the

shit out of him, all I care is that he is here.

"Rose, Rose are you okay?" he said in a panicked whisper to me, but I couldn't find the strength to reply, so I just cried some more.

The night just carried on like this, until there were no more tears to cry, so I settled for whimpering instead. "Rose, people are going to be here soon, we better get you up to

your room before people see you like this" he said softly as he slowly tried to get me to stand, but my legs felt like jelly, and I couldn't muster up the strength to stand.

Suddenly Dimitri said something really loud in Russian, and it didn't sound complementary, this startled me into looking at him, but his eyes were on my bleeding, bruised,

swelled hands. His face contained a lot of worry, concern, and anxiety. Then it was if he could feel my eyes on him, he looked up to me straight into my eyes, and oh god I think

my insides were going to melt like butter, it's just the way he looked at me sent me all soft inside, his eyes contained so many emotions, it shocked me, and the most dominant

one? Well it was love.

"Rose, how did you do this?" he said returning his eyes back to my hands. Still too shocked by today's events I just turned my gaze to the broken and beat up equipment in the

gym, and to say he was shocked would be an underestimation "You did this Rose?" he asked in absolute disbelief. The way he said it made me feel bad, I just destroyed

equipment, so I just nodded my head shamefully, "Li...Lissa's darkness after... healing you" I let out a sob "it was so hard" I said quietly "it hurts so bad Dimitri, I don't know

what to do with myself, I'm a horrible person" I said as I started to cry again.

"shh Rose, it's okay, I knew it was the darkness, , now can you stand for me please? We need to fix up your hands" he said softly, this made me cry more, he shouldn't be so

caring towards me! I'm a monster, but like he said, I most defiantly don't want people to see me like this, so with a little help from Dimitri, I was now wobbly on my feet.

Dimitri, carefully put his arm around my waist and led me into the office, and grabbed something, then carefully, walked me to my room. As we walked outside, the cold wind hit

me, and I stopped in shock of how cold it was. My body then involuntary let out a shiver. The sun was now just starting to go down, so that was signalling that the students

would be waking up soon, and that means I've now missed the night and am not going to have another chance to sleep.

Suddenly Dimitri removed his hand from my waist and shrugged his duster off, and placed it round my shoulders. Hmm I thought, he must have noticed that shiver, I sighed at

the smell that was radiating off his coat, which automatically calmed me down. "But... But you will be cold" I said looking at the floor; I just can't face looking at him at the

moment knowing what I did to him. "That doesn't matter, come on let's get you back to your dorm" he said, as he carefully slipped his arm around my waist.

Slowly but surely we made it back to my room, without anyone seeing us, not that I cared, I just can't be bothered to care about anything or anyone (excluding Lissa or Dimitri).

Dimitri opened my Dorm with his master key, and walked in, followed by me. "go sit down" he said softly to me, so I complied happily because I just can't be bothered to argue,

staying up all night has taken it's tole on me and, well I must admit, I'm getting pretty tired now, so I just laid on my bed hoping to be able to catch some Z's "no sorry Rose, I

know you must be tired but we need to get your hands cleaned up" Dimitri said in his mentor voice, sitting on my bed and grabbing my arm, carefully pulling me up.

Again I didn't argue, I just let myself be pulled and cleaned up by Dimitri like a doll, only moving when he gave me a little tug .

Dimitri then cleaned me up, without saying a word, which I was okay with. Then once he had finished he gave each of my hands, which now had bandages on he placed a small

kiss on them before saying "Now sleep, everything will be alright my love, just rest" he said smoothly, and I didn't need to be told twice, I was pulled into a deep oblivion as soon

as my head hit the pillow.

* * *

><p>I woke up sweating and panting unable to breath. A nightmare. It felt so real, all the blackness and loneliness, oh god it surrounded me like a blanket. Unable to shake the<p>

feeling of the nightmare, I went into my bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. What's wrong with me? Life use to be so perfect and now I can't even control

myself, I'm starting to feel lost inside myself, I can't recognise myself anymore, on the outside I may look the same, but on the inside I'm just struggling to be sane.

I made my way back into my room, and glanced at the clock, God! That time already, I slept through the whole day and night, and now its 6am, wow I must have really needed

that sleep I thought. Oh well I might as well get a head start in getting dressed. But as I glanced down I noticed my hands were still wrapped in bandages, strange I thought,

wouldn't I have noticed the pain before now? Oh well I just proceeded to take them off so I could have a shower. I gasped! The blisters, cuts, and swellings had all gone! My

hands were normal, wouldn't they have taken longer? Oh well that stuff Dimitri put on them must have really worked, not that I minded.

After taking off the bandages I went to go take a shower, still trying to shake off the thought of that horrible nightmare, and hopefully be ready for class on time, although I

highly doubt that. I'm Rose Hathaway, and a leopard can't change its spots.

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><p><strong>So I know Rose and Dimitri didn't have the 'big talk' yet and there's a delebrate reason for that. However also Dimitri was so worried when he saw Rose like <strong>

**that, that it didn't ****matter about early events. Hope I haven't confused you :)**


	14. Chapter 14

Turns out that I would never even make it out the door, let alone to class, because a bunch of guardians came storming into my room, not even bothering to knock might I add and broke my door off its hinges. I had just finished having a shower when a guardian came and pounced on my knocking me to the floor, and before I could even think about fighting back, I'm surrounded by about ten guardians as one of them had put hand cuffs on me and marched me down to the guardian building. Or so I think.

Luckily I had managed to pull on scrapes of clothing before all this happened. Of course I had asked this guardian why they were doing this (even though I could probably guess) and then screamed every profanity under the sun at him when he refused to tell me. The bastard still didn't utter a word.

I was then led down about five sets of stairs 'I didn't even know it went down this far' I had thought to myself.

Now here I am sitting in a cell counting the amount of cracks in the bricks and wondering why the hell I'm here. Well I could probably guess it's because of what happened with Dimitri but it doesn't explain why they attacked me with no warning without uttering a single word. Surely they're meant to explain why they're you're being arrested? You know the whole 'anything you do say may be used as evidence' speech. Nope, not a bloody word.

I mean I'm so up for a fight but the bastard got me from behind so it wasn't even fair. Surely if it is because of what happened with Dimitri then Lissa should be here as well. However a quick scan of the bond showed me that she hadn't been caught by the guardians and was in fact having a little 'love cuddle' with Pyro.

Trying to turn my attention away from the little scene forming in my mind I scanned the cell. The walls were made out of dark grey stone, making the room colder than usual. There are no windows, there's one door which is metal and had a little window (with no glass) with bars on. In the corner there was a dirty old sink that use to be white but is now near enough matching the colour of the stone walls and a toilet next to it which was in a similar state. I am now sitting on a dingy little bed in the corner of the room, and in the opposite corner is a crooked little chair.

I'm pretty sure these aren't 'official' cells.

Which leads to the next question: Why am I here in these cells? Why isn't Lissa here? ... What the fuck is happening?

A Sudden clank of the bolt on the door and the screech of the door opening caused me to jump out of my mind babble. Now to say I was stunned would be a complete and utter under-fucking-statement, for it was queen bitch Tatianna herself.

...What on earth is she doing here? The last I heard she was at court attending to the new guardian plans.

"Well, well, well, Hello Miss Hathaway, what a surprise to see you here" She sneers "I trust the accommodation is to your liking?"

What is she crazy? High? Completely lost the plot? "whaat?... When? What?" I say, not even being able to form a sentence.

The damp, rusty smell is beginning to make my nose itch and I can feel a draught coming from somewhere, which makes me shiver due to my lack of clothing.

She lets out a laugh 'more like a cackle' I thought, "The infamous Rose Hathaway is speechless, I'm honoured" She says taking a step closer "let me clear some things up for you. I know all about your relationship with Guardian Belikov, in fact a lot of people know about it including guardian Petrov and head guardian Hans, and well we're not happy. So I have taken it upon myself to rectify the situation, which is why you are here."

She crosses the room and grabs the crooked old wooden chair that was sitting in the corner and drags it over to where I am before sitting on it.

"see I've always known you would be a terrible guardian, you lack control, obedience and manners, and despite my protests Guardian Petrov and Guardian Belikov have been singing your praises- which has been making it very difficult for me to expel you in any way"

She then leans towards me and whispers "But Hathaway you have just changed that all for me, and I am going to make sure you never see Lissa or any of your friends ever again. As for Belikov, I'm- or should I say Natasha, is going to make sure he forgets you. See then Hathaway, you're going to be all alone, not even your mother will remember you."

Suddenly standing from her seat she says out loud "Well Hathaway I'm going to let you stew over that" as she is turning towards the door "we'll continue this conversation another time".

My brain finally catches up with me, surely this isn't legal? Duh Rose she's the queen, she can do whatever the fuck she wants, I tell myself. Well I not going to sit around and let her keep me caged up like an animal. I leap from my seat and launch myself at queen bitch, but before I can even take a step I'm being pinned by two butch guardians. My struggles prove to be futile.

"You're going to regret that Rosemarie" She turns with an evil glint in her eye. "Chain her, and give her half the amount of food, then she will be too weak to attempt that stunt again". Then she turns and leaves the room.

One of the two butch guardians then come and place chains on my feet, which limit me to where I can walk. Thankfully I can just about reach the toilet, because I throw my guts up into it. The guardians didn't even turn their heads when leaving the cell.

What. The. Hell?! So let me get this straight She, Alberta, Hans, and God knows who else knows about mine and Dimitri's relationship. I lean against the toilet and place my head in my hands, not only that but she's been planning against me since I've come back, but the real question is, what is she going to do now?


	15. Chapter 15

**Hiya guys! I know it's been forever since I last posted a chapter, but to make up for it I've added two chapters :) Now I noticed eralier on that alot of the chapters in my story were the same, which I don't think I realised, so I've now changed them back. Have a read if you like to see what actuall has happend in the plot.**

**Anyway chapter 14 and this chapter is where sh*t really starts to hit the fan, and hopefully some things may fall into place while others get more confusing, at least that's what I hope. From this chapter on things will really start to puzzle you (Hopefully) as I don't plan on giving anything away until the near end. Anyway Hope you like it, and please don't forget to review! :) xx**

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><p>"I can't believe that no one has come to arrest or cautioned me" Lissa said to Christian as they're sitting in the dusty old church lying in each other's arms. <em>Isn't it nice for some? <em>I think to myself.

"I wonder how Rose is holding up, she must really be struggling right now, I haven't seen her all day" Liss muses with worry leaking into her voice. "I'm sure she's fine, Rose is as hard as nails, I'm sure she'll be strutting around breaking hearts and noses in no time" Christian replies.

"What actually happened between her and Belikov anyway?" Pyro asks curiously, and I can feel Lissa's hesitation through the bond, she's unsure whether I would want her to tell him. "Well... Rose and Belikov had a thing. A romantic thing. Then he left and Rose was heartbroken, that's why she's been so off the last few weeks. Then he comes back for her graduation and well the darkness... It was too strong and we both lost control" Lissa beings to sob. "_Oh Lissa, you know it wasn't our fault, the darkness got the better off us, Dimitri knows that... I hope" _

I'm glad Pyro's there to help her, without him she wouldn't have anyone. I pull out of her head, trying to give her some privacy, even though she doesn't know I'm invading it. Not that I even wanted to see them getting hot and heavy anyway.

I sigh, how on earth am I going to get out of this one? I ask myself. I'm not one for giving up but this situation seems to be impossible, four walls one window and one door and they're both locked. As far as I can gather, I have two guardians standing just outside my cell, then possibly some up the corridor? I don't know for sure, damit! I'm a trained guardian I should be able to get out of this!

It's hard to tell how long I've been chained in here. From being inside Lissa's head, I'm guessing its mid afternoon so I've been in here possibly twelve hours? I'm guessing no one knows I'm gone either. _Nice to know I'm missed_ I think to myself.

Sitting here on the unstable, dingy bed I'm trying to calm my nerves and stomach. I keep having the feeling to vomit my guts up, even though I haven't been fed since I've been here, it's not a nice feeling at all. I wonder why Tatianna is doing this. Does she feel threatened by Lissa, so she's taken me away to hurt her? Or maybe she doesn't want me and Dimitri to be together because we'll encourage other dhampire's to do the same? Not that there's much chance of that, Dimitri left me. Or maybe she just hates me that much, Or maybe... Ergh! I need to stop this; I'm going to drive myself crazy.

Whatever her reason is for kidnapping me, it's defiantly not for the reason she just told me, which is what I need to find out. I need a distraction, so I decide to pop into Lissa's head, luckily just in time for some action.

Lissa and Pyro are following Eddie in a rush, and I can feel Lissa is anxious and scared which I can feel through the bond. I believe they're going to my room, looks like I might be able to solve some of the puzzle.

As they turn around the corner towards my dorm, there's a swarm of guardians carrying boxes out of my room. Boxes that I presume have my stuff in. Lissa lets go of Christians hand and goes running up the hallway towards my room "ROSE!" she calls "Rose, Rose where are you?" only to be blocked by one of the butch guardians that had previously been in my cell, pinning me on the bed.

"Excuse me princess, but you can't go in there" The guardian say looking as stale as a mouldy piece of bread. "Says who?" Lissa demands holding her head high and using her commanding tone of voice "Who are you anyway? You're not a guardian from this school".

"Princess" he replies "Miss Hathaway isn't here, she's dead" he says in a plain flat voice. "WHAT?!" "_WHAT?!" _Both me and Lissa scream at the same time. "No... That's not possible! I would have felt something... We... We're bonded, I would know if she's... Dead" She takes a couple of deep breaths and steadied her breathing "What happened?" she uneasily. "Suicide" he replied not even batting an eyelid. _"Oh Shit; now I'm really in for it. What on earth is queen bitch planning?_".

"No Rose wouldn't have killed herself, I would know it. She wouldn't, she wouldn't" Lissa sobbed uncontrollably into Christians chest. Eddie looked like distraught _"Oh God! What's Dimitri going to think? I can't bear to think how he's going to feel and react when he hears this" _ "Princess, this is now a crime scene, I'm going to have to ask you to leave" The guardian said. Too disorientated she was dragged away by Christian and Eddie.

I Pulled out of Lissa's head. Right so let's have a think, Tatianna has kidnapped me and locked me in a cell, she's now staged my death to look like I've committed suicide, but for what? It must be very important for her to go through all this trouble. I need to try and tell the Lissa somehow, she could then tell Dimitri, or the guardians to get me out of this hell hole.

Maybe I could try to contact her through the bond? "_Lissa? Can you hear me? Lissa? Hello Lissa? Anyone home?" _I shout through the bond. No answer, It's as eyrie as a desert. Well I knew that wouldn't work, damn bond only works one way! Come on Rose... Think.

Wait, I've got it: Adrian. Hopefully Adrian will have the initiative to try and dream walk. Quick to fall asleep, I lay on the dingy bed hoping for sleep to take over, but it never comes. Still wide awake, now counting the amount of bricks there are. Five-hundred and sixty-five, five hundred and sixty-six, five-hundred and sixt- OH crap, suddenly I'm sucked into Lissa's head. Again. It's beginning to feel like déjà-vu, but what I see before me makes my heart shatter into tiny pieces.

I'm in Lissa's pink room, facing her now open door. Sparky is to her right holding her hand tightly, and in front of her is none other than Dimitri Belikov.

However this isn't the Dimitri I know. His eyes are puffy and red rimmed, his shoulders are sagging, his face is red and blotchy, and has the biggest puppy dog eyes. "Is it true? Is it really true? Is Rose dead?" He lets out a loud sob and looks towards the ground "My Roza, my sweet Roza you can't be gone, how am I suppose to live without you?" He turns towards Lissa "I figured you would know if she's really gone, please Lissa tell me".

That scene there broke my heart, I can't bear to think of my strong Russian cowboy looking like a lost boy. "I... Don't know" Lissa stammers "They tell me she's gone but I don't feel any different, I figured I would feel something but it doesn't feel any different" She says looking confused, scared and lost.

Just as she said those words, hope and determination begins to fill Dimitri's eyes. "I promise you princess, if she's out there I'm going to find her" he turns and talks out of the room.

I pull out of Lissa's head, feeling a little bit of hope. Completely exhausted by today's events, I lay down on the bed and fall into a deep slumber


	16. Chapter 16

My peaceful sleep went uninterrupted by Adrian, well as peaceful as it can be, providing that I'm chained up on a dingy bed in a cold dark room. "_Damit!" _I cursed _"I really thought he might have tried to visit me, but I suppose if he doesn't have any reason to suspect his aunt is lying there would be no reason to contact me, maybe he hasn't spoken to Lissa or is too intoxicated to use his magic" _seems like I'm really on me own right now. Deciding I mustn't give up, my first priority should be maintaining my health so I can kick the shit out of the guards and queen bitch.

I feel even weaker today I have a banging headache and I really need to pee. Slowly making my way out of bed I'm overcome by dizziness and the weight of the chains attached to mu ankles, but I carry on refusing to give up. I'm Rose Hathaway, even when the situation seems impossible I don't give up.

After a gruesome walk to the dirty toilet I'm finally able to relieve myself, and am now fully awake and alert. _"mmm... Something feels very different today, I'm not quite sure what it is" _I think to myself, something feels very off. I look around the room, nothing seems out of place; there are still one hundred and seventy cracks in the wall and the crooked old chair is still sitting in the corner, the door is still locked and I'm still trapped like a caged animal.

That's when I begin to notice a tingling sensation around my ankles where the chains are attached to. Tingling is the wrong word, humming more like. A hum of magic- Spirit to be exact. _"What the hell is going on? That was not there yesterday" _I exclaim silently. Lissa and Adrian are the only ones around that can use spirit- well that I know of. A quick scan of the bond tells me that Lissa has barely left Christians side since the news of my death, and is still suspicious about my death but doesn't know anything for certain. Which only leaves Adrian.

I suppose if the piece fits the puzzle. He is Tatiana's great nephew after all, and he probably feels resentful of the fact that I still choose Dimitri oven him, although Dimitri hasn't treated me that well since he left. Adrian may want revenge? Although that doesn't seem like his style but I just don't know anymore.

There is the possibility that there's another spirit user that we don't know of, after all they just seem to be popping up, I mean look how Avery walked into the academy and no one noticed a thing. The queen could have her own spirit user doing her bidding after all. However until I find out who it is and what the hell is going on, Lissa will be the only spirit user I will trust.

The only problem is that Lissa can't dream walk. I presume I will just need to trust Lissa and Dimitri to find a way to rescue me, and I need to fight my way out. The question is: How?

Another important thing to consider is what is the magic that's infused in the chains for? They wouldn't have gone through all that trouble for anything, especially considering the magic is very strong- it would have completely exhausted the moroi. This is something I've experienced firsthand with Lissa, not only that but it would have produced massive amount of darkness, which was not present inside Lissa.

This is driving me crazy! With only questions and theories and no answers I feel like I'm just going around in circles.

I decide to see what Lissa is up to, maybe she can fill in a few pieces of the puzzle.

She's sitting in the common room, with many of the other seniors. I can tell by a quick scan of the bond it's the first time she's been out since the news of my death. I can feel her uneasiness, worry, and sadness through the bond. She hates all the whispers and rumours going around about my death.

She's sitting on a red cushion sofa, with Christian and Eddie sitting either side of her. From looking at their faces it evident from their frowns that their worried- worried for Lissa or for me, I'm not sure.

Lissa leans over and gently whispers into Christian's ear "I'm going to ask to see her body, if they don't then we know something is up and if they do I can heal her" she says with a tinge of hope. Judging from the look on Christian's face, he doesn't look impressed.

"Lissa, you know Rose wouldn't want you to use that much magic, there's too much darkness involved". She didn't seem fazed by his comment "I'm doing this, whether you agree or not, if something fishy is going on I'm going to find out what. If you're not willing to help me, then Dimitri will" with that she got up from her seat and left the room, Eddie followed behind her.

Part of me feels elated that she's going to try, especially because something fishy is going on, it just seems like I need to sit and wait. Although there's plenty that could still happen, the queen could take Lissa as well or she could kill me. I just don't know.

I'm abruptly pulled back into Lissa's head; she's standing in front of Adrian. He's wearing some loosely fitted jeans, with a plain black top and he's sober! I can't believe it. "Adrian, where have you been?" Lissa asks softly "I haven't seen you since the news of Roses death, and I thought you might have gone off the rails, but it seems the complete opposite has happened" she explained. "I don't have time for this Lissa, I'm a busy man and I have things to do" He said abruptly as he pushed his way past Lissa and Eddie.

Eddie spoke up "that was very odd indeed" Lissa turned to Eddie, looked him straight in the eye and said "you will forget that we saw Adrian and what he said, when I stop talking I will carry on walking towards my room" She said commandingly, touching into her magic. _"What the hell?!" _Why did she just do that? She obviously doesn't want anyone to know that what Adrian said, but why?

Also come to think of it why is the queen keeping me here? If she wanted me out of the picture she would have killed me, so she must need me alive, but for what? I was about to search deeper into Lissa's head when I'm aware of the door opening in my cell.

Looks like someone's back, but for what?

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><p><strong>Right so guys just a little AN as I really want to know what your thought's are on the story. For me it's slightly more difficult to imagen what your thinking, how you percieve the story, and most importantly whether you're finding it confusing. It may get confusing becase it's (hopefully) going to be quite indepth and involve a lot of the moroi/damphir community, so if it doe get confusing let me know.**

**Also in each chapter there is a little hint (some more ovbious than others) as to what's going on and to solve a bit of the puzzle, so I would really like to know if you pick that up! haha**


	17. Chapter 17

Hiya guys! Yes I'm still alive, I know it's been a long time since I updated, but life is manic as usual. So anyway in this chapter although it's short (One of my shortest chapters) a lot goes down, and I hope it answers a few questions. If things get too confusing feel free to message me and I'll try an help you out.

Thank you so much for your reviews so far, they keep me going :) x

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><p>#The familiar sound of the heavy metal door creaked open to reveal a butch guardian, holding a silver tray with what I believe is two slices of bread and a glass of water on it. "Great! Looks like it's lunch time in the palace, what gourmet delights have I got then?" I then take a peek "yum, stale bread and a glass of water, you sure know how to treat a girl" I wink at the guardian, trying to coach him into talking.<p>

His face is indifferent.

"So what's your name then?" I ask, trying a different approach to get him to talk. Nope nothing. "So Queen bitch has got you running around like her little lap dog has she? She'll soon tire of you- Then where will you be? Probably in the same position as m-"

"It's no use he won't talk to you, he values his family too much, don't you Stanley?" The voice says sweetly coming from the open door, and guess who appears? None other than Avery Lazar.

_What on earth?! Things are getting crazier by the second! _

But I don't get the reaction I was expecting. As soon as she walked through the cranky metal door she gasped, and stood staring wide eyed at me, not moving from her spot- And strangely appears as if she's studying me.

"So glad to see you again Avery" I say sarcastically "I would say I'm surprised to see you but I'm not. Things are getting crazier by the second. What do I owe this delightful visit?"

She then seems to come out of her trance like state and sneers at me. "Hello Rosemarie, looking well I see. I've come to extract some information from you, now we can do this the easy way or the hard way" She says coldly, but before I can respond she turns to the guardian she referred to as Stanley and said "Please send for Tatianna as soon as possible, there has been a complication" Guardian Stanley nods his head towards her and leaves the room.

_Wait, what complication? So it appears that Stanley is being threatened into going along with this crazy plan, so maybe I can try and get him alone then get him to help me? And what the hell is up with Avery reaction when she walked into the room? This is just too strange._

"So Rose, what was your exact nature of your relationship with Guardian Belikov?" She ask seriously. "Are you kidding me? You come in here and act all weird and threatening me and that's all you want to know? Why Don't you just ask Dimitri?"

"That's none of your business, if you want answers from me first I need answers first" I said.

She bursts out laughing! "You really think you could bargain with me? You're in no position to" she said, gesturing to the cuffs around my ankles. "I'm sure you guessed that they're infused with Spirit, all thanks to my handy work" she paused "I am so much stronger than before Rose, magic like that in the cuffs barely made me sweat. I am powerful beyond your imagination" she stops. "You know you've made this all too easy for me, soon everyone will forget about you and you'll be a distant memory. Dimitri will have Tasha, Lissa will have Christian and Adrian... well he'll have the booze. You see, life is a lot better for them without Rose Hathaway"

Right, I wonder if she's lost it again. "How did you get out the loony house anyway? I thought you were locked up for good". "Oh Rose, I thought you would have caught up by now, dear old Tatianna and I need each other, I want revenge and Tatianna needs you out of the picture" _"why though?" _I thought. "Before you ask, the ankle cuffs are infused with a lot of my magic, to make sure your presence goes unnoticed. You see because you and Adrian also have a linked spiritual bond- of course nowhere near as powerful as yours and Lissa's, however still enough for him to notice you and be drawn into a spirit dream. No one comes away from Spirit unscathed, we are all servants to Spirit, we follow it's biddings and you, YOU! Rose Hathaway it want you! "She starts cackling, you're doomed, I'm doomed, we're all do-".

"Enough! Enough of all the nonsense talk Avery, we don't want to hear your spirit mumbo jumbo" Tatianna makes her entrance. "Now what was so important that I needed to leave a council meeting? I can't keep disappearing, they're going to get suspicious, I've already got Belikov and Princess Dragomir on my back"

"I was mumbling again?" Avery asks "Yes sure, if I can have a word outside I would like to explain the situation"

As they both leave the room, Stanley takes place in front of the door. "You know they're probably just going to kill you, right?" I ask him, trying to make him see sense "once you're served you purpose, they'll throw you away" I look him in the eye, showing him I'm speaking the truth. You can see the internal battle going on inside deciding on whether or not to reply "trust me, I know them. What do you thinks' going to happen to me?" this seems to win him over.

"I've got to at least try" he hissed "they have my wife and four year old son, I'll do anything to save them" he whispered harshly, "what, even sentence an 18 year old girl to death? Because that's what's going to happen if you leave me here" I snap back. Before Guardian Stanley has a chance to reply, both Tatianna and Avery come back in looking very smug. "Well, well, well Rosemarie dear, this changes a lot" Tatianna says smiling at me, _What does?_"

Tatianna then turns to Avery and nods her head and that's when Avery makes her move towards me, but instead of pulling out a knife or a gun, like I would expect her to, she kneels down in front of me and says "Rosemarie, you will go to sleep and not wake till dawn" _What, does she even think that will work?_ I think, but my eyelids begin to close and my muscles start to sag and one last word appears in my mind before I drift into a slumber. Compulsion.


End file.
